She stiffened. A cold thread of worry curled through her. Was that it? Was it the thrill of being seen—not Alec—that made her come undone tonight?
Why else had his tender kisses at his house felt nice but not earth-shattering? What if she only burned for the kink, not for him?
His arms tightened, protective. “Talk to me. Something shifted. I felt it.”
“It’s nothing,” she whispered—but her voice wavered.
He helped her sit up but kept her caged against him, gentle but unyielding, and eliminating any hope she had of escaping.
“Em. I’m not new to this game,” he warned her, voice edged with tension. “When a woman goes from relaxed and sated to stiff as a board, something’s wrong. Don’t shut me out.” He caught her chin and tipped her face up to his. “Let’s try again. Tell me what’s wrong.”
She gestured to the room, and the torchlit patio beyond. “What if it’s the club and the kink I crave? What if that’s what pushed me over the edge?”
“Then you’re in the right place.”
“You didn’t let me finish. What if it’s not…”
All at once, he stiffened. “Not what? Me? Are we circling back to ‘boring vanilla dude’?”
“I never called you that!”
“Do you really think what and where rather than who, made you scream as your body convulsed in orgasm?”
“Please don’t be offended. You insisted—”
“I did, didn’t I?” He lifted her off his lap, set her on her feet, then rose to tower over her.
“You’re angry,” she whispered, looking down at her hands rather than seeing the hurt on his face. “We should have left it at nothing. I knew this was a bad idea. Friends to lovers never works. No matter how fiercely both parties swear not to let it ruin things, it always does.”
“Is that why you’re here tonight? To test your theory?”
“Yes... No…” She shook her head, and whispered, “I don’t know.”
“Which one is it?”
“Julia said maybe I needed a comparison. Without sex!” she added when his eyes flashed with indignation. “I wasn’t planning to sleep with anyone. I just needed clarity.”
“And your plan was to get it with someone else?” His voice wasn’t loud, but it cut. “How disappointed you must be that I interfered.”
“Alec, don’t be like this. I’m sorry. It’s possible I’m incapable of normal intimacy. Which is concerning.”
He pulled her up on her toes and kissed her—possessive, masterful. She was gasping for air when he released her minutes later. “I don’t think intimacy is the problem.”
“That proves nothing. We’re here. Everything feels different.”
“Different how?” he pressed. “Not boring, you mean?”
She closed her eyes, teeth catching her lip. Julia’s label had really landed, and he’d latched onto it with maddening tenacity.
“Sorry,” he grunted. “I said I’d drop it, but you’re murder on a man’s ego.”
He looked away for one long, controlled breath before meeting her gaze again, something raw flickering in his eyes. “You want clarity? Fine. Let’s go get some.”
He dropped her chemise over her head and caught her hand, towing her toward the patio. She was still shimmying into the garment while hurrying to keep up.
“Where are we going?”
“You came here chasing comparisons.”
