“That sounds dirty,” I say. “And there are some things a kid shouldn’t hear Mommy and Daddy talking about.”
Vex stands. “I’m gonna finish the specs and mail them to you.” He cups the back of Calista’s neck and kisses her. “Man, you taste good.”
The strong and formidable businesswoman I know melts. “I love you too.”
She watches him leave and then sits down in the chair he just vacated. Her mood shifts a beat as she settles into the camera,her posture softening. “How are you holding up?” she asks. “Really?”
“They’re different out here. Less connected than King and his men, but yet…they deeply care for each other.”
Calista smiles as if she can read my mind. “I didn’t ask about any of the Outlaws. I asked how you were.”
“I’m fine. Good, I guess.” I hesitate for a moment as I think about last night in the cabin. About the half-eaten snacks and the fire and the feel of his skin beneath my fingertips.
“Oh my God,” Calista says, noticing the shift in my tone. “Did one of them get under your skin?”
I reach for my coffee cup and take a hot gulp. “Maybe.”
“Wren!” Calista’s mouth is open for a second. “Who?”
“Catfish.”
“One second,” Calista says. She leans and looks over her shoulder, then starts tapping on Vex’s laptop. “I’m looking him up on Vex’s database.”
“You’re hacking his laptop?”
Calista laughs. “It’s not exactly hacking when he lets me sit at his laptop, then disappears.”
“Semantics.”
“Holy cheekbones, he’s a pretty one. Blond curls, blue eyes, shoulders that look like they could pump their own body weight.”
“That’s the one.”
Her grin softens. “You reallylikehim.”
“I do. But it’s terrifying. He makes me feel safe, and that’s a feeling I don’t trust easily.”
“I hear you. Ending up married to a biker wasn’t something I expected either.”
I tilt my head as she raises her wedding ring to show me. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“How do you do it, Cal? You’re this strong, independent, and more than capable woman. But you let Vex…lead. You belong to him. Wear a cut that says you’re his property. How do you let him have that kind of power over you?”
Calista doesn’t flinch at the question. Instead, she sits back in the seat and thinks for a moment. “I do it because it’s not really about power. It’s about trust. IchooseVex. Every day. I let him carry me sometimes because I know he won’t drop me. I know he’ll make decisions that always position my best interests at the center. He doesn’t take anything from me, because I give it to him. When it’s real, that kind of surrender has nothing to do with power or gender. It’s not weakness. It’s trust and love and…peace. And, God, now I sound like a John Lennon lyric.”
My throat tightens at the explanation, because I feel it all the way down to my boots. “I think I love him, Cal.”
“Good,” she says. “Fall hard. Because if he’s really worth it, he’ll catch you.”
We end the call, and I place an order for all the things Vex sent in his email to stop myself from calling Catfish to see how he’s doing. It’s so tempting, but distraction can be deadly. And he doesn’t know what he’s walking into.
Jackal makes a pasta dish from food we had kicking around in the fridge. Some ham and eggs and a sauce he called a makeshift carbonara. It’s tasty, and we talk while we eat.
Well, Jackal and I do. I can see Shade doesn’t speak anywhere near as often as Jackal does, but, occasionally, he adds a few words here and there. I feel an extra layer of safety beyond Catfish. That I’m safe with people who understand me. Even though our lives are different, there is overlap in our stories.
We all know how it feels to be hated for who we are, for simply living our lives.
