“Because the trouble got a little too close. And I didn’t want to risk anything going wrong that would result in you being taken from me. But on our own, there would be no warning issued that the Feds were about to find us. There would be no time to run. There would be no club to hold them off.”
While I understand what he’s saying, I feel…deep concern. “If it was so normal, so okay, why didn’t we tell a soul where we were going?”
“Because desperate men sometimes do desperate things. And while I trust my brothers, there were people at the club last night whoaren’tthem. Old ladies. People’s kids. A brother gets arrested, he ain’t saying anything no matter what they threaten. But a woman threatened with being deported from her kids? A prospect who might not have properly thought through what it means to be a brother? A kid who blurts shit becausethey overheard Mom and Dad talking about something they shouldn’t have? I didn’t want to risk you with that. And if any of those people got arrested or questioned, they’ve got nothing to tell the Feds about your whereabouts.”
There’s an intensity in River’s eyes that I can’t quite put my finger on, but I trust him. I trust him more than anyone I’ve ever trusted in my life.
“Okay.”
“Okay, what? You wanna run? You wanna stay?”
I look up at the brown ceiling. “I want to stay where we’re safest. But if I could find a way for us to disappear, a digital way, with new identities and a chance at doing something good in life together, would you disappear with me?”
River brushes his lips over mine. “I said I’d go with you. But I can never disappear. I got Maddie and Mason, two beautiful kids who need an uncle. And a mom who’s as independent as they come and yet, needs me. I can go with you. But I can’t stay away forever. And I can’t disappear for good.”
I’m not sure I truly believed in the idea of being able to disappear for good either, but I feel as though it’s being taken away from me as an option. And yet, how could I make him choose between me and his family? I know I’d lose because he’s such a good man, he’d put his family first.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put you in a situation to answer that.”
He swallows deeply. “I’ll help you. I’ll hide you. I’ll drive you. Whatever it takes beyond disappearing permanently, sweetheart. That’ll have to be enough.”
“It is,” I say, but I can tell I did damage with the question when he slips out of bed and tugs on his clothes. He bundles up as I replay how the conversation just went, and despite the roaring in my head to just say something, I watch as he puts on his coat.
“I’m gonna go make contact with the club. Let them know we’re okay. I’ll pick up some breakfast. But I’m coming back. I promise.” And with that, he closes the door to the cabin, and I’m left alone with my thoughts.
“Shit,” I mutter. “Shit. Shit. Shit.”
He didn’t need to leave to make contact with the club. If it was bad signals he was worried about, I have ways of connecting us to any means of satellite or other connection.
I run to the door and yank it open. “River, wait,” I shout as he tugs the truck door open.
He pushes the door closed and walks back to me, his eyes searching my face, as if trying to guess what I’m about to say. And I’m not about to make him wait.
“I messed that up. I’m sorry. Of course, you have to stay connected to your family. And I want to stay with you. Wherever that takes us. And if it takes us back to the apartment above the garage at your sister’s, I’m cool with that. And if you feel like we need to live miles away from them, so we don’t bring trouble to their door, I’m okay with that too. I just…you and me…I want to be alone to enjoy what we’re going to become, and I lost sight of that for a second. And?—”
“Stop talking,” River says, pulling me to him so he can kiss me. He lifts me off the ground and walks me back into the cabin before kicking the door closed with his boot. Once back inside, he lowers me to the floor. “The apology was enough. For a second, I saw a world where you made me choose, and I panicked, because I couldn’t see a way to keep my family safe if we were off grid a thousand miles away.”
I wrap my arms tightly around his middle. “I didn’t mean to make you choose. I’m sorry.”
He kisses the top of my head. “We can figure this out, together. I promise, Wren. The two of us are bigger than whatever is happening. Just…don’t run. I want a promise that,no matter what happens, you won’t run from me, you’ll run to me. Because I’ll be forced to spend the rest of my life trying to find you instead of enjoying it with you.”
“That’s romantic, River. And I promise I won’t run from you, only to you.”
He smiles, then winks. “Only for you. Now, you do what you do best, find us a lead to act on, while I make those calls.”
But when he opens the door again, we find ourselves looking down the barrels of a dozen weapons.
30
CATFISH
“You never write, you never call,” Atom says drolly.
“Fuck,” I mutter beneath my breath. “I was just about to call you guys, I swear.”
Grudge steps forward, but the weapons don’t come down.
“What the fuck is this?” I ask. “Put the weapons down.”
