Harper was ghastly pale and looked like she’d lost five pounds.Her eyes were ringed with dark circles.He had thought it would make him feel better to know that she was hurting as much as him, but he was wrong.
The instinct to pull her to him and wrap her in his arms was strong.It was tearing him up inside to see her like this.She looked as shredded as he felt.
The light had gone out in her green eyes, but there was a determined look in them as she stood tall in front of him, her right hand gripping her left so hard that her knuckles were white.
“I need to talk to you, if you’ll let me,” she said softly.
***
Trent locked the door and sat down on the sofa.Harper sat down next to him and turned to look at him.His face was more stubbly than usual, and his eyes were drawn.No sign of her usually happy man.
“I’m sorry.”Harper chewed the inside of her lip as she considered her next words carefully.“I know I’ve said that to you a lot, but I am.Very sorry.I know that seems kind of lame for an English teacher, but I’m incredibly short on words right now.”
She took a deep breath as Trent continued to study her.“I was always scared what would happen if Nathan ever finally found me, but I found out there was something that terrified me more.What he would do to you.I couldn’t risk you.When you told me about the show, all I could imagine was that this could be his tipping point.You know, the thing that pushed him over the edge to move from threats to action.”
“I won’t let him harm either of us, darlin’.There are things we can do to be careful, to stay safe.”
Reaching out, she took Trent’s hand in hers, relieved as his thumb brushed against her knuckles.
“You can’t promise me that, and it’s okay, because I realized something else,” Harper said, taking a deep breath.“You were right.All those things we would have to do to guarantee staying safedoadd up to less than a full life.I’d decided not to run, but I hadn’t committed to staying.You were right.I was half in.I’m sorry I made such a mess of this.”
Trent’s eyes searched her face.“I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard, Harper.You’ve been through enough.”
“No, don’t you see?You should.I want you to challenge me to be a better person every day.I don’t want you to make allowances for me, or feel sorry for me in some way.And I should do the same for you.”
“I’m sorry too, Harper.I kept pushing at you to trust me and the reality was, I didn’t trust you either.I lied to you about the trip for a reason.”
Harper’s pulse started to quicken.“Why?I mean, about what?”
Trent looked down at their hands.“Because I messed up once before, and I didn’t want it to happen again.”He let go of her hand and ran his fingers through his hair.“I thought I was in love once.”
A burning sensation flared in Harper’s chest at the thought of another woman in Trent’s life.“What happened?”she asked.
“Christ, Harper, we were so fucking young.On paper she was perfect.Loved ink, cars, and me, I hoped.We lived in this crappy apartment, and I thought we were on this crazy adventure together.”
Harper tried to ignore the pangs of jealousy, tried to wrap her arms around her middle until Trent pulled her hand back.
“No, you don’t, darlin’.I need to tell you this.I wasn’t enough for her.Yasmin left me because I couldn’t give her everything she wanted fast enough.”Trent tugged on her arm and pulled her into his side.
“The look on her face when she told me that she wasn’t prepared to wait while I built my career.”Trent stopped, shaking his head gently.“She was disappointed in me.It crushed me.I thought I was over it.But when I got the call about the show, I just couldn’t tell you.I didn’t want to let you down if I didn’t get it.”
Trent shifted on the sofa and looked at her, his chin trembling as he struggled to regain his composure.
“I couldn’t handle it if you ever looked at me the way she did, Harper.I should have talked to you about the show before making all those decisions.”
Harper brushed her lips across his.“You could never disappoint me.I think it’s amazing that you got asked, but even if you hadn’t gotten it, I would still have been proud.In a way, yes, you should have talked to me about it, but it was so early on in our relationship that it really wasn’t any of my business.And even now, I shouldn’t be the one who stands in the way of you achieving something incredible.I want to be the one cheering you on, not stopping you from making it onto the field.I’m just not sure how.”
Trent lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles softly.“I think we’ll figure it out together.”
She looked at the strong hand holding hers.“Oh my goodness, what did you do?”Harper asked, eyebrows raised and mouth open as she studied the cuts and bruises.
“Had a conversation with a streetlight once you got into the cab,” he said, pulling her closer to him.
“I’m sorry, Trent.I really am.If I blew you and me because of all this, I get it and I don’t blame you.I’m done running.I’m done being scared.I’m done doubting whether you and your friends will help me if I need it.I am done with everything except being in love with you.I—”
Harper was flipped onto her back and underneath Trent in the blink of an eye.
“Say it again.”His dark eyes were fierce as he held each side of her face in his big, safe hands.
