She smiles like she’s found a kindred spirit. “Same with me and dancing. Well, except, you actually got to live out your dream and I’m sitting here next to a pair of crutches, hoping this is just a pause and not the end. What’s it like?”
I shrug and swallow my first response:disappointing.
“Life never quite goes the way you imagine it.”
Lucy frowns and I hope she leaves it there.
Of course, she doesn’t.
“How so?”
This is the kind of stuff that’s better left unsaid. Unthought. Just…un.There’s no changing what’s already happened, so why spend mental cycles on it all? What’s the point of unpacking any of it? I’m here. I’m fine. In fact, compared to so many others, I’m more than fine. How dare I complain because, what? Life’s not as exciting as I thought? Not as fulfilling? I don’t even know what it is that leaves me feeling so… empty.
Lucy bumps her shoulder against mine. “I see thoughts happening. This is a safe space. Promise.”
She looks so open, so genuine, so unassuming, I decide to throw her a bone.
“I wanted to join the Navy like my dad, get my medical degree that way, but I didn’t. I wish I had.”
For so, so many reasons.
Lucy bobs her head, pulling a bite of lemon-herb chicken out of her wrap. “I didn’t get a chance to meet your dad. He passed away before Bennett and I became friends, but boy, everyone talked about him like he was a hero.”
“He was. Robert Kincaid did what was right. He was kind but also hard, but in the best way. He called me on my mistakes, taught me to take responsibility for them, but never made me feel bad about messing up. There wasn’t a single person who came into his sphere who didn’t get exactly what they needed. I wanted to honor him by following in his footsteps.”
“What happened?”
I blow a puff of air past my lips. “Jadelyn. My ex.” I glance at Lucy who clicks her tongue and shakes her head in judgment.
“That bitch.”
That is not the response I expected from someone I don’t think I’ve heard use a single curse word. I recoil, surprised. “I’m sorry, what now?”
Lucy looks mortified. “Oh, are younot there yet? Whenever one of my friends breaks up with a guy, there’s a point where we all get together and call him an asshole for everything he did and then she stops feeling bad and starts moving on. I guess I just assumed you were there.”
“It’s been five years. I’m there. I just wasn’t ready for you to be there with me.”
“I got your back.” Lucy takes another drink of her Pineapple Paradise Float. “Why would she ask you to skip the military? Seems like a good way to get your education paid for to me.”
“Exactly! Plus, I’d get to see the world, serve my country, and honor my father. But Jadelyn didn’t think she could handle being a Navy wife. Begged me to skip the military and go straight to the doctor thing. Foolishly, I agreed.”
Lucy frowns. “You chose the girl over your dreams. Grayson chose the dreams over the girl.”
“Based on my experience, he did the right thing,” I mutter, then grimace. “No offense to your friend.”
“A little taken.” Lucy bumps my shoulder with hers. “Gabby is like a sister to me and just between us, I’m not sure she’s over it yet.”
“Fair enough. And definitely just between us, I’m one hundred percent sure Gray isn’t over it yet.”
Lucy’s brows lift. “That is a conversation we’re gonna have to circle back to someday, but for now, I feel the need to point something out. Maybe life didn’t go the way you expected, but you’re still living your dream. You’re a doctor, just like you always wanted.”
I bob my head and watch the sunlight sparkling overwater. Conversation and laughter sound behind us, mingling with the music from the band. It’s a beautiful day, a beautiful world and I’m here, existing in it, but, somehow, not quite part of it. My world is charts and patients, symptoms stacked into diagnosis, stitches and crash carts. I meet people on the worst days of their lives and yet, there’s no one to meet me on the worst of mine.
But Lucy doesn’t want to hear that.
She wants the fairy tale. The dream come true.
So, I give it to her.
