Even from this distance, I could tell that Noah’s mouth was moving, and my sisterly instinct (and my unfortunate familiarity with his favorite pickup lines) cued me in to the fact that he was, in all likelihood, saying something along the lines of “Hey, baby, you’re looking a little lonely, but don’t worry, there’s enough Noah to go around.”
And then, right on cue, an enormous football player walked up to the table, slammed his tray down, and reached for Noah’s shoulder.
Here we go again, I thought. I took a step forward, but before I could so much as take a flying leap at the buffoon who was about to decapitate my brother with a fist roughly the size and shape of a cinder block, the rest of the girls beat me to it. Granted, there wasn’t actually any pummeling involved.
“Hi, Marcy! Hi, Jeff!” Lucy bounded over to the table, the rest of the girls on her heels. “Hi, Noah.” Lucy smiled at him. Noah, ever the one to take the least bit of encouragement in any shape or form as a come-on, turned his “charm” on Lucy.
“Well, hello there,” he said, his voice pitched lower than usual in an attempt to seem more manly.
While Lucy distracted Noah and pulled his attention away from the girl he’d been trying to hit on, the others worked on defusing the threat that was Cinder-Blocks-for-Fists Jeff. Andsomehow, they did it without a single menacing look, punch to the gut, or kick to the groin. In fact, as far as I could tell, they didn’t do anything but flutter their eyelashes.
The girls lured Noah away from the senior table and deposited him back among the other freshman boys, who then stared at my brother with reverent awe. Noah looked at the cheerleaders, looked at the boys, and then arched one eyebrow freakishly high, a devilish look on his face, and took a bow.
“I’ll seeyoulater,” he told Lucy.
Lucy actually giggled, and then, in one coordinated motion, all of the girls headed for our table, leaving my brother to milk the experience for all it was worth among his freshman cohorts.
Note to self, I thought. Tell Lucy not to encourage him.
I joined the other girls with every intention of telling them just that—and asking them why in the world they’d felt compelled to move my little brother out of harm’s way—but when I got there, the twins had matching wicked smiles on their faces.
“You know, Toby,” Brittany said, “your brother is awfully cute.”
I think it’s safe to say that hearing the words leave her mouth had a catastrophic physical effect on my being. I shuddered and almost lost my lunch—even though I hadn’t eaten it yet.
Tiffany poked me in the side. “Yeah,” she said. “He’s adorable.”
I frowned at them.
“They’re just teasing you,” Tara whispered.
“What? You don’t like it when we talk about your brother?” Tiffany asked innocently. “But what if we wanted to ask him out? He’s such astud.”
Okay, that was taking it way, way too far. If Noah heard any part of this conversation, he would become unbearable. He already thought he was a ladies’ man. He didn’t need the twins giving him ideas.
“Stay away from my brother,” I growled.
The twins just laughed, and as we sat down at our table—a safe distance away from Noah’s—everyone else joined in.
“What’s so funny?” Jack asked, never taking his eyes off my face.
“Nothing,” I said, giving the twins a look that promised serious repercussions if they said anything else about my brother, the “stud.”
“We still on for tonight, Ev?” Jack asked me, an amused smile playing around the corners of his lips at the look I was shooting the twins.
Before I had a chance to formulate a properly sarcastic response, the others answered on my behalf.
“Yes,” Tara said.
“You are,” Lucy finished.
I opened my mouth to object, but one of the twins grinned at me, and I got the distinct feeling that if I said so much as another word, they’d launch into a long, traumatizing, and detailed account of how much they’d just love fooling around with my younger brother.
Needless to say, I kept my mouth closed.
CHAPTER 26
Code Word: Taser
