“Hayley Hoffman, April Manning, Kiki McCall …”
JV cheerleaders: my very favorite people.
“… Courtney Apex, and Sarasota Bane.”
The last two were names that, being the social butterfly I was, I didn’t quite recognize, but when their pictures flashed across the screen, I vaguely recalled having seen them at the meeting.
“Ix-nay on the ane-Bay,” twin-on-the-left said. I got the feeling that this was as close to speaking in code as she could come. “Split ends much?”
“Tiffany,” Brooke said, her voice surprisingly patient, “we can’t rule out a candidate because of split ends.”
Immediately, twin-on-the-right (who my advanced powers of deduction told me was Brittany) jumped to her sister’s defense. “We already have to deal with her.” Brittany jerked her head toward me. “If we take another neg-soc on, people are going to start getting suspicious.”
“Neg-soc?”
Zee had the decency to look slightly embarrassed. “Despite your special skills,” she said delicately, “you have what we refer to as a … uhhh … a negative social index.”
All things considered, that was probably putting it mildly.
“Okay,” Brooke said. “Bane is out.”
If Brooke’s “we save lives” spiel was to be taken seriously, we were deciding in whose hands we should place the fate of the free world, and a candidate had just been eliminated because of split ends.
“I think we should kick out Hayley Hoffman,” I said, taking a stand. The others looked at me, and I improvised. “Her bitquo is too high, and we’re already at capacity.”
“Bitquo?” Tara might have been fighting back a smile as she spoke. It was hard to tell.
I looked at Brittany (also known as Miss We-Already-Have-to-Deal-with-Toby-the-Social-Reject) as I answered. “Bitch quotient.”
Needless to say, that comment did not go over terribly well.
“Hayley’s a strong applicant,” Chloe informed me tersely. “Her social index is in our ideal range, she’s a solid athlete, a leader, and she lies outstandingly well.”
“So Hoffman stays on the list,” Brooke said, not even giving me time to come up with another clever retort. “What about Courtney Apex?”
She zoomed in on Courtney’s picture, and I recognized her as Bayport High’s own pseudoprominent cosmetics model.
“She’s afraid of fire,” Lucy said, wrinkling her nose.Apparently, to the too-cheerful (no pun intended) explosives expert, that was a cardinal sin.
“And she may be somewhat recognizable from that toothpaste ad,” Tara added.
“I like her,” Brittany said firmly. “Good bone structure.”
Bubbles shook her head. “Too tall,” she said. “I mean, can you imagine having to toss her over a security wall?”
“Apex is out.” Brooke made the decision, and no one questioned it. “What about Kiki McCall and April Manning?”
For the first time in my life, I found myself cheering for April Manning, Hayley’s second-in-command. Anyone (or, for that matter, anything) was better than Hayley Hoffman.
“April is solid,” Zee said, slipping back into profiler mode. “She’s not as aggressive as Hayley and often lets her take the reins, but doesn’t show any signs of allowing herself to be manipulated. As far as I can tell, she doesn’t have any kind of inferiority complex ….”
Like that was a problem among the pretty and popular.
“Her body language is very controlled, and most of her actions seem highly strategic. She’s ambitious, but doesn’t have anything to prove.” Zee grinned. “Plus her dad’s totally loaded, even by Bayport standards, and she throws killer parties.”
“And Kiki?” Chloe asked.
“Obedient,” Zee replied immediately. “She’s the only child of an overinvolved mother and a somewhat distant father, leaving her desperate to please on both accounts. We may be able to use the obedience to our advantage if we can coerce her into aligning her loyalties with us, but I can’t guarantee it.”
