“It’s not my place,” I said.
He gave a lopsided smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “When has that ever stopped you?”
It would stop me this time. “We’ll see,” I said.
“Well…”
“Well…”
“Take care, Jane,” he said, and got out of my car. The car he chose for me.
“You too,” I said, turning Yvette on to cover the quaver in my voice. I drove out of the parking lot before he did. I knew he would turn left, so I turned right, not knowing where I was going.
I drove in a daze, but was so good with Yvette now that it was okay to be on autopilot. I took a country road away from Schoolport, but not in the direction of Chesney.
I found a deserted spot and pulled over. I grabbed the scarf and sunglasses Stick had given me from my backpack and put them on, tying the scarf around my head, then neck so it would stay on. Yes, very French-looking indeed. Getting back onto the road, I opened up Yvette, loving how the wind rushed past me with the top down for the first time. I shifted with ease, knowing the instant she needed to go higher. Needing to go there with her.
And thinking how much Stick would have loved it.
Chapter30
Stick
So that was it.Funny, but I always figured it’d be the car stealing that did me in. And here it was a faulty condom.
And I was losing Jane instead of going to prison.
Not to be melodramatic, but that was its own kind of prison.
Caro began to deteriorate quickly. Betsy was by her side most of the time, and Joey too, once he got home. They both chastised Joe and Caro—and even Dotty—for not letting them know sooner, but I thought Caro knew what she was doing. She would have hated to have Betsy doting on her like this for the past two months.
I kept up with her care, but now that the interview promos would soon be running, more home nursing help came in. I watched and learned, and once again thought about doing this as a profession. I just couldn’t figure out how to go to school with a kid on the way and all that entailed. If I could even get in to nursing school.
I didn’t tell Caro the specifics, but she knew Jane and I were done. She didn’t push, and I appreciated that.
The car collection was ready to be sold, if that was what she wished. It hadn’t taken much, and really had been more of a front for me being there so often. She, Betsy, Joey and I went over the inventory list, me telling them how much they should list each car for, people I knew who might be interested…stuff like that.
I gave Lucas a heads-up that I’d need to sell my Camaro that he’d been using the past few months. I had a third car too, another Camaro that I’d restored. And, of course, my 1970 Dodge Charger. It would break my heart to sell her, but with the money from all three cars I could get one used, more family-friendly car, and still probably have enough to cover delivery costs and stuff like a crib and car seat.
I didn’t let myself think too much about becoming a father. I was almost twenty-two. Younger than I would have liked to be when having a kid, but at least I wasn’t sixteen or something.
I’d grown up without a mother, so I knew what would be missing from my kid’s life if I left Shelly on her own, and there was no way I was going to do that.
There was no joy that I’d thought I’d hoped I’d feel when expecting my first child, and then I’d feel guilty about that. It certainly wasn’t the baby’s fault that I was in love with someone besides its mother.
It all just felt…numbing. Caro didn’t have much longer. Jane and I were through. Shelly was due in four weeks. It was a lot of shit to deal with. But I did.
I didn’t really have any choice.
Caro was in bed and the TV was on, though I didn’t really think she was watching. I sat beside her, reading a book about cancer patient home healthcare. “Stick, would it be awkward for you to contact Jane and ask her to come see me?”
Yes, it would be awkward as hell. “No. Would you like me to do that?”
“Yes. I would like to see her. Soon. I know she hasn’t been coming because of Betsy and Joey being here, and that’s probably for the best. But I would like to…”
“I’ll let her know,” I said, thinking I would just send her a text, then make plans to be away from the house while she was here. I didn’t trust myself to hear her voice, or see her face. I had made a commitment to be there for Shelly. Not in a romantic way, but I just didn’t want to have Jane’s and my relationship thrown in Shelly’s face while she was huge with my baby.
I don’t know, it just seemed…tacky. Not that I was above tacky, but I was trying to be.
