But I would notice. Beyond Lucas, I’d come to love little Andy. And I’d miss him.
Andy ran to show Stick his certificate, but Stick wasn’t alone. Jane, apparently having just come into the building, was standing next to Stick. I waved goodbye to the rest of my kids and their mothers and made my way to Jane, who was looking at Andy’s certificate, even though she’d never met him.
“Wow, great job, big guy,” Jane said to Andy, who beamed up at her. Another victim to Jane’s unexplainable orbit of attraction.
“What are you doing here?” I asked Jane at the same time Stick asked the same thing. Though his inflection was much more on “you” than mine on “here.”
She shrugged, directing her answer to me, ignoring Stick. “I was on this side of campus and I thought I’d walk home with you.” Much like the other time she’d shown up here unexpected—hoping to get a glance at the new guy I thought was so hot—I suspected she had been nowhere near the women’s IM building. No, Jane knew today was the last day of lessons and that either Lucas would show, or he wouldn’t, and either of those outcomes were bound to make the cut deeper.
A good friend, Jane. It just took a little doing to get past her prickly personality and become friends.
But on days like this, I was so glad I had.
I said another goodbye to Andy. He ran ahead of Stick, who turned to me and said, “I’m sure it doesn’t help, but just know that he’s as miserable as you look.”
I nodded to him, understanding, and in a way appreciating the sentiment.
“Fuck you,” Jane said to him. “She’s doing just fine. And she looks amazing, thank you very much.”
Stick looked at her, opened his mouth to answer, then just waved a dismissive hand at her. “Whatever,” he said, and walked away, catching up with Andy, and they both left the building.
Jane looped her arm through mine and we turned back to the locker room. “No laps. Let’s get you into dry clothes and go find somebody to get us some booze. I think we should get wasted tonight.”
“Okay,” I said half-heartedly. We entered the locker room and I went down my row to get my shower stuff. I peeled off my hoodie and yoga pants, and was still standing in my suit when I heard Jane’s voice call from over the row of lockers, “So this is what the car thief does when he’s not out boosting vehicles?”
I walked around the corner and saw that the tape had been removed from around the steam room. Lucas had thought he’d be finished this week. I hadn’t looked around that corner when I’d arrived today, so hadn’t noticed.
“Guess it’s open for business,” I said to Jane, though I still stood a bit away. Like, I don’t know, Lucas might walk out of the room at any second, absurd as that idea was. And as desperately as I wished it to come true.
Jane rolled her eyes at me. “Come on. Don’t be a pussy.” She held the door open for me. I expected to see steam billowing out, but apparently nobody had turned it on. Probably because I was always the one to do that.
I walked in and looked around. Gone was the old teal tile of all one color and size. In its place was a mosaic of the ocean. He’d done something clever with the seating area so that, standing in the doorway, it had an almost 3-D effect of rolling waves crashing against uneven sand dunes and the black sky above.
Aquamarine and sea foam tiles mixed to create the swelling tide; irregularly cut pieces formed the tempestuous whitecaps of the waves. I stepped closer. It looked like the tiles creating the sand dunes were actually made of sand, but they were smooth when I placed a finger on them. A third of the upper seat and the wall were made up of midnight-blue and black tiles in an indiscernible pattern that looked chaotic close up, but spectacularly like a dark night’s sky when taken as a whole.
That’s the key, finding the art amongst all the crap, Lucas had said the night I tried to find art in the chaos of the graffiti wall. He had definitely found art in this small room.
“Pretty,” Jane said. I didn’t say anything. It was really beautiful, and vaguely familiar, though I couldn’t say why. He and I had never gone to the beach together, but it almost felt like this was something he and I shared.
Sentimental crap, and I needed to snap out of it.
“He thought if he did a good job on this one, they’d give him some more special project work.”
“I’d say there’s a high likelihood of that happening. This is…well, let’s just say his talents were wasted stealing cars.”
“Jane,” I said with warning in my voice. She held up her hands in surrender. I stepped away from the mosaic, to the doorway. I wondered if I should teach lessons next semester. If maybe I shouldn’t just stay away from the women’s IM building and instead swim laps at the other IM building.
And away from a constant reminder of Lucas.
* * *
We weresilent on the walk home, and I appreciated Jane not trying to cheer me up. Saying goodbye to Andy and then seeing Lucas’s finished work of art had my emotions spinning. As we walked into our room, I kicked off my Uggs and threw my fleece pullover in the general vicinity of my desk chair. I pulled my phone out of my backpack, setting it on my desk, and then my soggy clothes. After hanging my wet suit, yoga pants and hoodie on a hook, I pulled off my jeans and sweater, intending to get dressed for a night of revelry with Jane.
I stood in my panties and a camisole, both a pretty nude/peach color. I looked at my closet, bursting with Basic wear that would work for this evening. And then I looked at my bed, which I hadn’t made this morning when I left.
The bed won. I went over and crawled in, sort of in the sheets, sort of on top of the comforter. “I think I’m going to just stay in tonight,” I said to Jane, who was sitting on her bed, texting.
“If we stop partying, the terrorists win,” she said without looking up from her phone.
