“And she reported it to CPS,” my mom said, knowing the drill. Sad that she knew so well how the system worked. When Lily didn’t even know what CPS stood for.
“Yeah. They came around, saw how we were doing. I gave them Frank’s name as a reference for me having a good job. I yanked Mrs. Jankowski over to talk to them about her being with Andy while I worked, when Andy was already in bed.” I ran a hand through my hair, thinking back to that nerve-racking visit and waiting to hear back from them. It was the week before I met Lily. It seemed like a million miles away, yet a CPS visit could happen again at any time. “They were cool with the situation. Even said Andy seemed to be dealing well with your…absence.”
She grimaced at that. She’d been the one to tell Andy she was going away for a while to “learn to be a better mommy” to him.
Andy hadn’t handled it well at all, and it had been slow going at first. But the swimming lessons helped—it kept him busy a couple of the days after school, and then exhausted at night. I took him to the park to play catch and stuff on the other days. He still missed our mother and would get upset at times, but he seemed to be adjusting okay. I tried to keep an eye on it as best as I could—talking with his teacher, and, of course, deep, deep discussions with his swimming instructor.
“The thing is, Lucas,” my mom was saying now, pulling me away from my thoughts about just what other things Andy’s swim instructor was doing on a deep level. “I’d like to stay here a bit longer. My month is up in a few days.” Which I knew—that was one of the reasons why I was here today, to discuss plans for when she came home. Would she still want me to stay there? Could I help her in her recovery more by being there, or giving her and Andy more space?
“But I’d really like to stay another thirty days,” she said. She quickly went on when I didn’t say anything. “My doctors think it’s a good idea too. But if you can’t stay with Andy—”
I held up a hand. “I can stay with Andy as long as you need. That’s not a problem. I can move back permanently even when you’re back home if that will help you out.”
“Oh, no, I’d never ask you to do that, Lucas. You’re a man now, and you have your own life to live.”
Yeah, and I’d done such a stellar job of that so far. “Well, not forever, but until Andy’s older.”
“You’re going to want to settle down yourself soon, Lucas. You’re not going to want to be living with your mother and little brother.”
Lily had three and a half more years at Bribury before we even thought about what we’d do after she graduated. Whether we’d stay here in Schoolport, or go elsewhere. Although that didn’t mean that we couldn’t live together while she finished Bribury. Maybe her junior year we’d—
My thoughts screeched to a halt as I realized how completely—and how easily—I’d woven Lily into my future.
And just how right it felt.
And who knows, while Lily was getting her degree, maybe I could look into finishing up mine. I’d done okay at USC—for a jock—and probably only needed a year and a half to complete a degree. I was pretty sure there was even a break on tuition for Bribury employees, for continuing education purposes. No doubt an effort on the administration’s part to reach out to the community that served the college’s needs. It made them look good.
“I’m going to be around and available for a few years yet,” I said to my mom, not willing to talk to her about Lily right now. This visit wasn’t about how happy I was with Lily, it was about my mom’s fight. “And I think it’s great you want to stay another thirty days.”
She leaned across the table and put her hand on top of mine. Hers was cold and had just the slightest tremble to it as she grasped mine.
“Thank you, Lucas. I really think I’m going to make it this time. It feels different.”
Which, actually, was something my mother had never said before, and so I believed her. “Whatever you need, Mom.” And then reality crashed in. “Will your work insurance pay for the extra thirty days?”
Her hand clenched a tiny bit, and she pulled it away. “They’ll pay for fifteen, forty-five total days. And, of course, I don’t get paid while I’m in here. But I am guaranteed my job when I get out. I have some money put aside, not much, and it was supposed to go for the rent on the apartment while I was here.”
I was doing the math in my head. I made better money on the third shift at Bribury than I would have on first, but I was just starting out and the pay wasn’t great. It was enough to help, but not enough for rent, food, and everything else.
My mom’s eyes flickered away from me, taking in the room around her, as if she wanted to get her last looks in because it would soon be taken away from her. Her hands folded onto themselves, and she began picking at her nails.
“We’ll be fine. I’ve got it covered with my job. Use the money for this place.”
She looked at me with hope in her eyes, a look I hadn’t seen in a very long time. I swallowed down a lump in my throat. I would make damn sure she was able to live out this newfound hope for her future.
She was my mother and I loved her. When my father had been alive, she’d been a great mom, and we’d been a very close family unit. Even with all the shit that happened after my dad died, she still did the best she could, and I always knew that she loved me, and wanted to do right by me. It was that sometimes she just…couldn’t.
I would find a way to take care of the bills so she could be in here as long as she needed to be.
Speaking of huge bills I had no way of paying…
“I spoke with a lawyer yesterday about putting something in place to make me a legal guardian of Andy for when you’re in here, or if…” I didn’t want to go there, didn’t want to say, “If this ever happens again.”
But she knew. With a sad smile, she said, “That was a good idea. It’s best to have something in place, just to keep CPS off your back a bit.”
“Yeah. So, they’re going to have something ready in a week or so.” (Or whenever I could pay Janine the fee for it.) “And I’ll bring it here for you to look over and sign.”
She nodded. “Make sure that it’s you only, Lucas, that’s listed.”
