“Yeah, she got him there, which was about the last thing she was able to handle. She went into rehab a couple of days later and I moved in here.”
“So, you’ve only been…clean five weeks?” I had no idea if “clean” was the word I was looking for. I knew the first time I saw him that I was out of my depth with Lucas Kade, but I now knew I was in way over my head.
No lifeguarding experience was going to save me this time.
“No. Six months. I haven’t used in six months. About the same time I realized my mom had started using again. And about the same time I…”
“Yes?”
He shook his head, and I knew I wasn’t going to hear about all the things Lucas did to get money for his habit. Or to buy huge flat-screens.
“It doesn’t matter. I knew I had to get my shit together. I didn’t do it for me, but I could do it for Andy. That poor kid had it worse than I did at that age, and I just wanted to, I don’t know, give him a chance, I guess.”
“So you quit the Oxy? Just like that?”
He chuckled. The sound seemed foreign and jarring in the quiet room with such a heavy topic. “Well, not ‘just like that,’ no. It was pretty shitty for a while. But I made it out the other side. Eventually.”
“And…the other stuff? The stuff to get the money?”
“Well, that wasn’t as easy to quit because it didn’t affect just me. I hadinterestedparties in me still needing money, and they weren’t happy.”
“Stick.”
He shrugged. “Stick’s okay. He stood behind me, still does. It was more of the people Stick works for.”
Visions of every mafia movie I’d ever watched with my father played in my mind. “Just how…deep are you in?”
“I’m not. I’m out. I was never ‘in’ much, anyway, just a…runner, an information gatherer, a cog. There was another guy who needed money right behind me. Shit, there were thirty guys behind me. There arealwaysyoung guys who need money that are willing to do anything to get it.”
“Anything?”
He waved a hand. “No, it wasn’t anything heavy. I don’t mean to scare you, Lily. It was kid stuff in the scheme of things.”
“So…” I needed him to say it, even if I couldn’t ask it.
“Nothing that hurt anyone. Cars, money, some property. Everything was insured. And it was from people who could afford it.”
“My family are people like that,” I said. “My family works very hard for their car, property and money.”
“I know,” he said softly. “I didn’t mean it like that. It was wrong. Of course I know it was wrong. I just didn’t want you to think I was out whacking people or anything.”
I nodded. I knew the difference. And I also knew that Lucas didn’t need to tell me any of this, didn’t have to be so honest. He was either telling this all to me to scare me away, or…or…because he was in as deep as I was and didn’t want anything between us.
“And you’re completely done with it? With all of it?”
“Yes.” I could hear the conviction in his voice. It was the truth, or at least he desperately wanted it to be.
So did I.
“Over. Done. When I saw my mom was back using, I started hanging around here more, making sure she got to work, and that Andy was taken care of. They found out about it where she worked and she was given the choice of going to rehab or being fired. Which probably saved her life. I had some money from…before, and was able to help out for a while.
“Then I got on at Bribury. I was able to do third shift ’cause it pays more. It sucks, but it’s honest work and the benefits are good.” He smiled. “Shit, listen to me talking about benefits. I sound like an old man.”
“No,” I said, running my hand up and down his arm. “You sound like someone who has responsibilities.”
He took my hand, raised it to his mouth, and turned it to kiss my palm.
“How’s your mom doing?”
