After she left I sat at my desk for a long time. “Let the bullshit go”, “Syd”, “teaching” and “happiness?” all joined “Three Fucking Million” on my pad of paper.
As Nora said she would, Adina called later in the afternoon. I hadn’t left my desk, hadn’t graded any papers, or gotten that soda. Had just stared at the tablet and thought.
Could I let it all go?
Adina not only likedFlames, she couldn’t stop gushing. Not one to interrupt a gush, especially about my book, I let her go on. We talked about cover art ideas, of which I didn’t have many, but really liked the ideas she had. We then talked about her edits. She’d be sending me her full edit letter next week, followed by her marked-up copy of the manuscript. But she said, “It’s not a long letter, Billy. And it’s mostly quick fixes—a few things need a bit more explanation, some clarifications, things like that. We can talk about turn around time then, but I think once you see it you’ll agree that the changes are minimal and we can have this book ready soon.”
“Okay. Yeah, it all sounds doable.”
“Super. We plan on making the deal announcement this week. I’ll work with Nora on that. We want to get the buzz started. So you’ll probably want to get some statements ready. I know you’re at that college place for a little while longer, but we’ll have time to sit down and talk it all out once you’re back in the city.”
I didn’t expound on her “that college place” statement. I didn’t want to share my Bribury adventure with Adina. Or Nora. It felt special to me, private. But maybe I was melding my whole experience this year with my feelings for Syd.
Then a thought came to me. “When you make the deal announcement, are you going to put in a synopsis of the book, or just announce the deal?”
“Not sure yet. Why?”
“Well, as I’m sure you realized, I have yet to name my protagonist.”
“Oh, thank God. I was so hoping you weren’t married to ‘Esel.’”
I laughed. “No, it was a placeholder. I’m back and forth on the name.”
“Okay. If we do a synopsis, we’ll do it without a character name. Keep it vague. That might heighten some mystery actually. Just make sure you have it before I get your edits back, we’ll be going to galleys shortly after that.”
“I’ll have it by then,” I said. We said our goodbyes and hung up.
She’d loved it. So had Nora. And Syd had loved what she’d read of it. It had sold for three million. Maybe Icouldget away with using Esme. Fuck the haters.
I remembered Syd’s words about my original Esme/Rachel character notes and how they compared to Salinger’s Esme.
Practical. Unsentimental. Wise beyond her years. Very matter-of-fact. And yet you know she’s going to rip your heart out.
I opened my laptop and pulled upFlames. Yep, a quick find and replace and I had the name of my protagonist set.
I looked at my tablet again, checked the time, then called Corrine Patterson to see if the dean had time to see me.
Chapter29
Syd
Jane walkedwith me to class one morning a few weeks after I’d seen Billy for the last time, which was unusual. I didn’t think she even had class until eleven on Tuesdays.
She’d been dealing with her own stuff with Stick lately, and though I didn’t know what all had gone down, there was a period in there when she was a total bitch to be around. I mean, way worse than usual. But, the last couple of weeks she’d been flying high and it seemed like they’d worked it out.
She’d even been on television. An interview she did with her father and Caro Stratton had aired and Jane was getting a lot of attention on campus. Which of course she hated.
The three of us had taken the train to Manhattan last weekend to shop and have a girls’ weekend—part of Jane’s birthday gift from her father and Caro. We’d done a bunch of shopping at Barney’s for Jane’s upcoming stumping on her father’s campaign trail gig. But she’d also taken me to a cool vintage shop she liked and I’d gotten a few things.
I now wore my new purchases and was…okay with the fact that I didn’t look like all the other girls as we walked across campus. In fact, I kind of reveled in it.
“Listen, I saw something online this morning, and I thought you should know,” Jane said. She shrugged. “Maybe you already do know, but my guess is the way you’ve been moping around lately that you’re not in the loop much.”
Ah, the reason for walking with me. “What did you see?” I’d tried to hide my heartbreak from Jane and Lily, because then I’d have to tell them about Billy. And I just couldn’t. So, I didn’t think Jane would be sharing with me something she’d seen online about Billy. Like he’d reunited with his lost love Diandra Scott and was now engaged.
“Remember our prof from last semester? That hottie Montrose?”
A cold wind swept over my heart. No. He couldn’t have. “Yeah?” I said, trying to sound uninterested.
