“Anyway, I knew it didn’t feel right, and I never came up with much. I put the idea away for a while, and tried to go back toSkylark, but by then… I don’t know. I lost the thread or something.”
He looked away from me with a sad smile. “And thus began what I now call my Years of Starts.” He motioned to the completed boxes in the corner of the office and the remaining ones on the credenza.
I’m not typically the pep talk kind of girl. That is much more Lily’s area. I kept my voice equal, without any sign of rah-rah, and said, “And this will be your Year of Finish.”
He looked at me for a long time. I held his gaze, not saying a word. This was on him. I could lead the author to water…
“Yes,” he finally said. “It will be.”
We both took deep breaths, like something monumental had just been overcome.
Montrose pulled his laptop over to him and opened it up. And I pulled theGPnotes over, and immersed myself in my other boyfriend—Aidan Colly.
Chapter23
Montrose
It seemed soweird to be writing without Syd in the office. It was startling to realize just how much I’d become used to hearing her papers rustle, or the soft clack of her keyboard as I read students’ papers or—wait for it—started a new chapter in my work in progress.
Yeah, I was deep intoDown in Flames. I was still on the fence about the whole Esme/Rachel thing, so I was just using Esel as a placeholder knowing it would be an easy find and replace later.
It wasn’t quite as inspired asFolly, and the writing didn’t flow. It was…work this time. But it felt good to keep going on the same project, and I tentatively held my literary breath that perhaps I was past the big hurdle in my career.
Something wasn’t quite right with it, though. There was something missing. But, where before my mind would have wandered to other stories, other characters, this time I stuck it out with Esel and crew, and trudged through. I trusted myself as a writer enough (okay, almost enough) to know I could figure out what was missing by the time I finished the first draft and could go back and fix it in edits.
My phone rang and at first I got excited thinking maybe Syd’s roommate’s birthday party got over early, but realized it wasn’t her ring tone.
“Hi Nora,” I said to my agent.
“Hi Billy, sorry to call you on a Friday night.”
“That’s okay, I’m actually still in the office.”
“Great. So, how’s the writing going?” she asked, just like she had every time she’d called me in the past five years. First it had been weekly, wanting to cash in on the post-Follybuzz. Then it had dropped to every other week, then monthly. Now I heard from Nora about four or five times a year with a “I’m ready anytime you are, Billy. People will be jumping to get your next book…they just won’t be jumping as high next year.”
I could only imagine how much money I’d left on the table by not having a second book finished in the first year or two afterFollycame out.
Those thoughts will only impede your journey forward.My shrink’s voice played in my head as I gauged how much to share with Nora.
“Well, Nora, it’s early, but I think I’m on to something.”
There was a long pause on the other end. I’d said stuff like that to Nora early on, but after a while I had figured there was no sense fudging the truth—or outright lying—to the woman who had a stake in my career.
“Billy…that’s…that’s great,” she said, genuine enthusiasm, and surprise, in her voice. “How far along are you?” the businesswoman in her asked. No “What’s it about?” or “Are you liking it?” Nope, those were questions from an editor, or a fan. My agent was one of the best in the business and I valued her greatly. But she was not a cheerleader or a hand-holder. Something that appealed to me when I signed with her.
I did a quick look at my word count, something I had refused to do thus far. “I’m at…” (holy shit) “a little over eighty-thousand words.”Follyhad been right around a hundred thousand words. And thoughDown in Flameswould probably be a bit longer, it wouldn’t be a lot over that. I wasn’t far from being done with the first draft. (Holy shit!)
Another long pause. Nora was probably quickly trying to process this news. I’d never given her anything more than “I’m a couple of chapters in,” and even that had been a lie.
“Billy, that’s great,” she said, her voice still unsteady, as if she was sailing in uncharted waters. I’m sure she got “almost there” type of news from her authors all the time, but in the six years I’d been with her, she’d never heard it from me.Follywas complete before I submitted to agents way back when. I’d done some polishing based on Nora’s notes before she’d shopped it, but this was new territory for the two of us together.
“Um…well…I know you’ve been reluctant to show me anything you were working on in the past, but…”
That was because there was never anything beyond chapter one. But, still…I wasn’t sure I was ready for feedback yet. At least not from my agent. “I don’t think it’ll be too much longer before I can send you the completed first draft. That might be best.”
“Of course. Really, you think you’ll…complete it? Soon?”
I laughed at Nora’s inability—even being the shark that she was—to hide her shock.
