“See, this is what always pisses me off about you. The last time I did something important via text, you ripped me up one side and down the other. Now I invite you out to a nice place to eat to have a big talk, and that’s wrong. I never could figure out how to make you happy, Dodge.”
JFC. Okay, yes, he had me on the ass reaming about asking for a divorce via text. That was true. “Right, sorry, you’re making an effort.” He nodded and then asked a passing waiter for a sparkling water with lemon and a martini for me. I cocked a brow. A martini. For lunch. Whatever this talk was about must be a humdinger if he’s getting me a cocktail beforehand. “So, what is it you want to talk about?”
“Can’t we just have a nice lunch first? You’re always so uptight, Dodge.” He flashed that million-dollar smile at a couple of dude bros at the table beside us. His attention came back to me after they exchanged a few fist bumps. “Topher said to say hello.”
Should I be a dick or be polite? “That’s nice. I hope he’s doing well with his salamander breeding business.”
“Well, it’s more of a hobby right now, but he’s seriously thinking of trying to import some European salamanders, but he’s run into some issues.”
“Importing any kind of animal is always dicey,” I commented simply to try to sound as if I cared about the world of salamander breeding for profit. Was there really a high market for salamanders in California?
“Tell me about it.” Our drinks arrived. Chris asked for menus and returned his gaze to me. “So part of the reason I wanted to talk to you was about the salamander problems but also to tell you I just signed a contract with ELF.”
I had no damn clue. “You’re going to play an elf?” He had always had big dreams of breaking into film, but he had zero acting skills.
“No, Christ, Dodge, I’m not playing a damn elf. I signed on to play in the European Football League with a Spanish team. Spanish from Spain, not Mexico.”
“I assumed that since Mexico isn’t in Europe,” I replied, pleased my mouth was still making rational speech since my brain was stalled out on him signing to play football. “I have to ask why they signed you. No offense, but you’re forty-two years old, Chris.”
That got his feathers ruffled. I sort of knew it might but the truth is the truth. The man was in good shape, yes, maybe even great, but hewasin his forties.
“They signed me because they saw I still had the drive and passion to play. Why are you always looking for ways to bringme down, Dodge?” He snarled, pulling looks from the dude bros beside us. “Topher never does that. He’s always thrilled with anything I do. That’s why our marriage broke up. You always putting me down.”
I sighed wearily. “Chris, I did not fly all the way out here to have you throw the same old tired bullshit at me. Our marriage failed because you grew bored. Just like you do with everything in your life.”
He rolled his eyes. Someone in the corner laughed loudly. I wish I had not been so accommodating to this peckerwood. Peckerwood. That was a Granny word. I’d have to thank her for expanding my vocabulary in such a colorful way.
“Whatever. I do not get bored of things.” He huffed. Seriously, the man was on the same level as Dahn at times, and that was not a jab at my son. Dahn was ten. Sulking was to be expected at that age. At forty-two? “So, Topher and I will be moving to Spain in a month.”
That one knocked me back a bit. “In a month?”
“Yeah, I need to get settled in our villa and on the field. They’re halfway through their schedule already.” Excitement flowed off him as he prattled on about how he was going to dominate the league and lead Madrid to a championship. Which, yeah, doubtful, but he was bubbly over this chance. “So, I think this might be a problem when it comes to visitation for Dahn.”
“Youthink?” I asked way more sharply than I had intended. “Nice of you to at least think of your son after you made the decision and bought a villa.”
“Yeah, I know. I think about him a lot.” Pfft. My ass he thought about him a lot. “So, after talking it over with Topher, I think I’m going to hand over sole custody of Dahn to you.” My mouth fell open. “Yeah, I knew you’d be excited. He’s not going to want to fly to Spain all the time to see me, and with my summer schedule spent playing, I’m not going to be able to take time to come backto the States to see him. Then there’s the whole point Topher made about his salamanders. Seems there are some really pretty ones in Spain. Also, you know, Topher never really liked Dahn touching his lizards and shit, so Topher will be much happier without having to remind Dahn to not touch the lizards.”
“Okay, before I come totally apart here, salamanders are not lizards, Chris. They’re amphibians. Seems you would at least know that about the pets the love-of-your-life-until-you-get-bored-of-him keeps.”
“Hey, I love Topher,” he snapped back.
“Right, just like you loved me, and Phil before me, and Allen before him. And hey, I know some people don’t mature enough to be able to maintain an adult relationship as tiny minds grow restless. I’ve seen this with you over and over again, but I never thought you would be so fucking shallow as to grow apathetic about your own son!”
“I’m not apathetic about him. I just think he would be happier with you. Do you want me to take him to Spain?”
“No, of course not, but I can’t help but think this is just you tossing aside something you thought would be cool and fun but didn’t hold your interest. Children aren’t like theStar Warscards you collected for two years then grew bored of. Or the Marvel statuettes you collected for a year and then sold off when you were tired of them. Or the Looney Tunes phase you went through. I could go on and on, but I’m too fucking pissed and upset to name every damn thing you swore was your life’s devotion only to go ‘Blah’ when you wanted to find something new to move onto. What a pathetic shit you are to do this and not even discuss it with him!”
“Hey, first off, would you lower your voice?” His gaze ping-ponged around the bar as most eyes were on us now. Good. I hoped these jock-adoring fools got a good earful of what their idol was really like. “Second, he’s a kid. Why would I discuss itwith him? It’s my life. And I want to play ball in Spain and help Topher raise lizards.”
“They’re amphibians, you asshole. Jesus H. Christ, what the hell did I ever see in you? You’ve been running me through the fucking wringer the past few months. Fighting me over allowing Dahn to spend the summer at the ranch while you and your twinky boy Topher were planning to move out of the country. I had to pay for background checks on everyone at the ranch to placate you. What the hell was that even about if you cared so little about Dahn as to do this to the boy?”
“Dodge, you’re making a scene. I’m talking to you about it. Dahn will be fine. He can come over next summer or something. Oh no, he can’t. Topher would have to watch him, and he doesn’t really like kids all that much. We’ll talk on the phone. He’ll be fine. It will all be fine.”
I stared at him. Who was this man, and why had I wasted so many years of my life with him? What a selfish prick!
“Fine, yes, good. I’ll be happy to take sole custody. I’m going to go speak to my lawyer now since I’m four blocks from his office. I hope you and Topher enjoy Spain. Oh, and you can have my martini.”
I threw the cocktail in his face, rose, and stalked out amid gasps of shock from the patrons. My fury did not abate during my impromptu meeting with the attorney who had represented me in the divorce and had handled the shared custody. He assured me he’d have things worked out in no time since Chris was signing over his rights to custody. It would involve some petitions to the court as well as a judge issuing a new court order granting me sole custody, but he would file the petition today. If I had to fly back to California, I would gladly do so.
