“Time sis’it?” I asked, my voice thick with sleep.
“Four. We’re grabbing a bite and then heading out before the floods start.” With that, he exited our room. I lay there half-asleep, the smell of coffee filtering into my consciousness about the same time the sound of beating rainfall did. Baker’s boots on the squeaking stairs roused me. I sat up, rubbed at my face, and looked over to see my son still sleeping soundly. I kicked off the covers, padded over to him, and placed a soft kiss on his rumpled hair. Then, I pulled his blanket up to his chin andpulled on some clothes. Shutting the door behind me, I made my way to the kitchen where Granny and Bella were up, still in robes but with scrubbed faces, whipping up food for the hungry cowpokes.
“You’ll want to fill up on something substantial and not that new age green frappe stuff you like to create in the blender. It’ll be a long day,” Granny informed me and oh, how right she had been.
The four of us left the dry, warm confines of that rambling ranch house at five in the morning. The sky was heavy with rain clouds, the downpour steady now, coming in on sheets that blew this way and that, pulling at our slickers and hats as we climbed onto ATVs. Baker, rightfully so, did not wish to endanger the horses in this weather, so with the sun hidden behind ominous clouds, we rode out. The pastures were already a muddy mess as were the grasslands, which slowed us down dramatically. Ford rode into a ditch coming down an incline, the left side of his Honda falling into muddy slop. It took two ATVs pulling and three men pushing to get him freed. Not only were we now soaked through as the rain was coming at us sideways and running under the necks of our ponchos, but we were now coated in slippery mud from the tires trying to grab traction. And we’d only been out for half an hour.
It took us another hour to locate the cattle that had wandered over acres and acres of grazing lands. Now the herd stood under a copse of honey locusts. Cows, being cows, didn’t normally mind rain in warm weather, which this was. So they stood there staring at us riding up on them, chewing their cuds, until we got close then they took off like Satan and his minions were coming after them.
“Stupid ass fuckers!” I heard Baker shout as he gunned his ATV to get around the herd. We all broke off to try to circle them and get them moving in the right direction. A few of the heifers,scared and probably not used to being herded up, broke from the herd.
“This is where a cattle dog would come in real handy!” Ford bellowed. I split off to go with Ford to chase the heifers, which left a hole in our little cow circle that the damn bull took advantage of and busted through and to the north, his ladies following him.
And that was how it went for hours. It was miserable. The cows were wound up, unsure of the new lands they were on, unfamiliar with us, and with the arrival of thunder, things got even hairier. I swore as I raced after a freaked-out heifer. What the hell had I been thinking giving up a thriving dental practice where I was dry, warm, and well fed to do this? Had I lost my fucking mind? Obviously so. I was a moron. Plain and simple. Sure, kids getting braces tightened wasn’t fun, but at least said patients didn’t lower their head to try to knock you off your rolling stool like that fucking bull did several times.
I’d never been happier to see the fencing for the holding pen than I had been that day. We pushed them a little faster once we saw the barn. For once, the rockheads ran in the right direction. Perhaps they were ready for a rest, a dry bed, and some fresh hay. That sounded really good to me too. I was saturated, cold even though it was holding in the sixties, and hungry. My oatmeal had worn off long ago, but food was not on the agenda yet. There was hay to feed, and grain and waterers to fill. We should have done all of that before we left, as Baker had suggested, but nope, we’d all wanted to get started. Seemed the elder Bastian knew a thing or two about this ranching game. Throughout it all, the rains fell. Steadily. Lightning now flashed and arced from cloud to cloud, thunder rolling deep and low across the plains.
After a final head count to appease Baker, we filed in the back door of the house like a clowder of bedraggled wet cats.
Granny met us at the door with towels. “Peel them wet clothes off and toss them into the wash basin to soak the mud off. Don’t be shy. I’ve seen shriveled willies before.” She handed us towels wrapped around packages of clean clothes. “Right down to them wet briefs, Ford. No need to cover your backside, Dodge. I seen freckles before. Lincoln, you got a chest like a grizzly, best take another towel. Baker, your socks too, they’re soaked clean through.”
“Granny, we can do this. Go get some food around,” Baker said, standing there in his wet underwear, looking as sodden and chilled as the rest of us.
“I got the food ready. A big pot of homemade tomato soup with some grilled cheese sandwiches on Italian bread. I’ll leave you men to it then. Make sure you fill the sink with washing powder and soak them muddy pants. Don’t put them into my washer all coated with clay and cow shit.” She gave us all a look and then made her way to the kitchen, trailing her fingers along the walls for balance.
“And coffee!” Baker shouted while dancing around on one foot while trying to remove his other wet sock.
“No need to shout. I’m half blind, not half deaf!” Granny yelled out. Dahn showed up then, eager for tales of the cattle drive as Bella could be heard conversing with Granny about crackers for the soup. Suddenly a god-awful sound blared through the house.
“What the hell is that?!” Ford asked as he wiggled his naked butt into dry boxers.
“It’s a police scanner,” Dahn was quick to tell us. “Granny dug it out of the closet up in Bella’s room. Said we could listen to the police and fire engine calls. Did you get to lasso a cow, Dad?”
“Sorry, son, no lassoing. I had all I could do to stay on the ATV when I hit a puddle the size of Lake Michigan.” I gave his hair a ruffle. He giggled. Guess he was feeling more his old sweet self today. Talk about a hormonal roller coaster. “Have you heardanything about Ollie?” Everyone stared at me. “Sheriff Ahoka,” I rushed to correct.
“Oh yeah! He’s been like super busy. There are roads all over that are getting washed out, and a lady in town had a tree fall on her back porch. He had to rescue her and her little shitty dog.”
“Shih tzu dog!” Bella called from the kitchen.
“Right. Shih tzu. Then he and his deputy had to go set up signs by the roads, and after that a car got stuck trying to cross a road out by the old chicken farm, so they had to meet the firemen to get them out of the car. He’s been super busy!”
I nodded dully, feeling a mix of worry for Ollie being out in this weather and a little sadness over the fact that our date was probably going to be cancelled. For very good reasons, obviously, but still, I had a twang of disappointment. Dahn thundered off when another call came over the scanner. Leaving me with three highly inquisitive men.
“You and Ollie have a thing going on?” Baker asked flat out as he was wont to do.
I glanced around and leaned in a bit. My brothers all leaned in as well, water dripping slowly from Linc’s beard.
“We were supposed to go on a date tonight,” I confessed. I wasn’t going to spill about the sexy times at his place the other day but letting that cat out of the bag felt okay. “Don’t tell the ladies or Dahn. I’m not sure where this will go, and I don’t want him to get too close and then lose another person in his life.”
“Don’t tell the girls what?” Bella asked, peeking around the doorframe. Linc squealed and pulled a towel around his middle to hide his ass. “Oh, hey, look at all the muscles.” Bella gave us a wink. “The food is ready.” She stepped away and popped her head back into the laundry room. “Oh, by the way, I think you and Ollie make a cute couple, Dodge.”
With that, she disappeared. I looked around at the men packed into this little space that smelled of spray starch and powdered detergent.
“She’s got ears like a hawk,” I whispered and got nods all around.
“To be honest, it’s pretty obvious. Any time you two see each other, you look like two lovesick cows,” Baker commented before sliding his arms into a well-worn western shirt and leaving the room to find his man and a bowl of soup. In that order, I assumed.
I was going to argue, but Linc and Ford were bobbing their heads in agreement, so I just zipped my lips. It was rather nice to hear that we made a nice couple. Ollie would look good standing with anyone though.
