“I’ll be honest,” Silas said after another pause. “I’m surprised you care.”
“About being ditched?”
“Yeah, Marlow. Who cares if some guy needed to dip before his partner caught him in someone else’s cabin? Aren’t you outthere with a bunch of couples? Last time I heard, you were trying to hook up with a couple of swingers.”
“This guyissingle.”
“Okay, but is that what he’s telling you or is that something you know personally because you verified it with your own two eyes?”
I sighed heavily.
There was no way to actually know Blake wasn’t with someone, sure, but I found it hard to believe that man had the time to entertain anyone with how much running around he did as the director. And that wasn’t at all including getting involved with being my partner for the first few days I’d been here.
Two separate staff members had corroborated as much, anyway.
“That’s not that point.” I hated how defensive I was getting over this subject.
Silas was right—I had no reason to be this bent out of shape about a man who had made it clear last night we were keeping all of this on the down low. Why in the world I expected to wake up to him cuddled against me like we’d been exclusive for weeks was beyond me, and so far off from how I usually went about my hookups.
Getting ditched made it easier for both of us. We wouldn’t have to do that awkward song and dance as I quietly led him out of my cabin while making sure no one spotted us as I bid him a farewell before going back to pretending like none of it ever happened in the first place.
Yet, the more I paced around the living room, the more agitated I got.
Why didn’t he say anything?
Why not wake me up before going and telling me it was a good run but he had to get home?
Did he honestly think I was the type to cling and therefore had to make his grand escape before I roped him into something?
“Then what is?” Silas asked.
I really didn’t know. That pang ofsomethingstill lingered in my chest regardless of how hard I was trying to stamp it down. “You know, this is the part of the conversation when you tell me ‘there there, everything will work out’ and then give me some sort of pep talk about how there’s more fish in the sea.”
“Are you hearing yourself right now? Since when do you need a pep talk to get over a one-night stand? Marlow, you’ve been there for five days. How fucking deep did you fall for this guy after sticking your dick in him?”
My face flushed hot instantly. “Ihaven’t.”
“Then get a fucking grip. This isn’t like you at all.”
I wanted to argue so fucking bad—just to get some of this anger off of my chest and tossed to an opponent who I knew could take it.
Silas and I were supposed to be perpetual bachelors for life. We’d made that pact long before we’d both made it big in our respective careers and right around the time we were about to graduate college. Avery hadn’t been keen on agreeing to the pact, finding it rather childish when it was far from that.
We were promising not to let something as stupid as dating and relationships get in the way of our friendship. I’d seen too many people get wrapped up in trying to find ‘their person’ while dropping whatever relationships they had with their friends before that, finding it inconvenient to balance the two in a healthy way and instead made it the other party’s problem.
I never wanted to be like that. Lost in my own bubble of happiness that I forgot everyone else around me who helped me get there.
Relationships didn’t scare or terrify me, but I knew the damage they could do if left to their self-actualization.
Hence why getting involved with Blake in the first place was supposed to remain off limits. I’d made that decision day one and here I was, not even a week into this program, and I’d already gone back on my own promise.
Damn it.
“Yeah, you’re right.” I sighed.
“I know I am. The weekend’s coming up. You should come back to Ellington for a bit.”
“Can’t. Got to stay close to the property.” It was a grand idea, though.
