Yet, the way I was going about things, that dream of having a family was getting farther away from me the more years that went by. I figured by now, I’d at least be married, or at theveryleast, had someone in my life long term.
Neither of those were my reality at this point.
Was this a sign from the universe currently staring me right in the face and blatantly waving around a giant flag to get my attention and I was just too stupid to open my eyes and see it for what it was?
It was hard to tell from my limited perspective.
“Is that, uh... something that would be a turn off for you?” Max asked.
Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I gave him a small smile. “Not necessarily. You know I’ve got a business over in Edgewood, so I was just thinking about the logistics.”
“Right, of course.” He surprised me by grabbing my arm and ushering me to the side when a large group of teenagers barreled on by. But instead of letting me go once they were gone, he kept his grip on me. “Brandon, we don’t have to jump into this right away. I don’t mind testing the waters with you until you feel more comfortable.”
I felt the urge to blow out an exasperated breath.
Why did I get the distinct feeling that my sister had not so subtly mentioned to the matchmaker that I was some kind of flight risk, easily spooked by commitment?
It wasn’t true, obviously, as I’d wanted a marriage and kids since I could remember, but that wasn’t going to stop my family from thinking the complete opposite when I’d hardly had any dating history under my belt to prove to them otherwise.
“I appreciate that.”
Slowly, he let go of my arm. “My contract doesn’t start for another month and a half. So, I’ll be here until then.”
I nodded, picking up the subtlety of his hint: spend the next month and a half together and see how it goes.
Maybe long distance after that wouldn’t be a bad thing. Dipping my toes into the dating pool certainly made for a nerve-wracking experience and with him gone for a while after this month was up, it would give me time to reflect on if this was actually something that I truly wanted to give the old college try.
My sister’s wedding wasn’t for a while, anyway.
Pulling in a lungful of air, I nodded again. “Okay. That sounds good to me.”
His eyes widened slightly. “Yeah? Really?”
“Unless you’ve got someone else lined up on your roster.”
That drew a laugh out of him. “Not at all. Just you, I swear.”
“Lucky me.”
He brushed his fingers against my cheek, running up to where the shell of my ear was, and tucked some of the hair there behind it. I felt my face flush from the sudden intimate gesture and stayed still while his gaze traced my features.
I was no stranger to people finding me attractive, most of the time, though, it was a few beers deep and with some shitty old country song playing in the background of a crowded bar that always way overcharged on their drinks.
Being covered in grease and grime daily from work wasn’t exactly the best mating call I could be putting out there, so this kind of attention was a little on the foreign side.
Aside from Avery, apparently.
Fuck, why was I always looping everything back to that man?
I hated it.
If I could bleach my brain and scrub it clean from all of the infected areas he’d burrowed down into, then I would do so in a damn heartbeat. Instead, I was stuck constantly being reminded of what I couldn’t have, with no goddamn end in sight.
Max moved his fingers underneath my chin, curling them around to cup my jaw. “You want to get out of here?”
Actually, that wouldn’t be a bad idea.
Sure, heading back to my place to get a little busy between the sheets was probably getting a little ahead of ourselves, but at the same time, if it meant being able to actually relieve the ache in my bones that had settled there after my morning with Avery, then I was all for it.
