Ashren halted and kept his hands loose at his sides while schooling his expression. He wasn’t afraid of me. He never had been. Not since we were boys scrubbing frost from our clothes and learning what it meant to survive outside this court after my father banished our mother. No matter how angry either ofus became, we always guarded one another. That meant he was one of the only people alive who would call me on my bullshit, a tedious role that I rarely appreciated in the moment, even when I recognized he was right.
Especially not when he was right.
But inthismoment, there was something guarded in his expression. It was the look he always got when he spoke of Thea.
He dipped his head forward, then straightened. “It was my choice. I went to the dungeon of my own accord. Why do you require anything beyond that? No one forced me to act.”
“Perhaps.” I stepped closer, staring him down. “But I told you to speak the full truth.”
“Do you swear that there will be reprisals only on me if you deem them necessary?”
The question annoyed me, and yet it took some of the heat out of me. He was loyal, Fate damn him. And so was Thea. He’d take a blade and an arrow for her.
I turned away and resumed walking, forcing myself to keep my pace even as we passed the final turn and approached the thick wooden door to my study. “You and she both disobeyed your king’s order. You undermined my authority.” I thrust the door open and strode through.
“I protected your prisoner and your authority.” Ashren entered with his chin raised. “A frozen corpse in your dungeon would have caused far more damage than someone exercising limited compassion that honored the spirit of what you required.”
I slammed the door shut with so much force that it sounded like a whip cracking through the room.
The study greeted me with its familiar chill. The hearth was unlit, the stone floor biting through the soles of my boots as I crossed to the central table. Maps and letters lay scattered where I had left them earlier, star charts lining the walls withtheir enchanted ink shimmering faintly beneath the lamplight. The weight of the room usually grounded me. This wasn’t one of those times.
Apparently, we were dealing with multiple exceptions, starting with mymatefalling through a fucking portal that shouldn’t have even opened. Was this my punishment for killing my uncle?
I braced my hands against the edge of the table and leaned forward. “You assumed you knew what I wanted.” It was hard to put into words how much it angered me that he’d had anything to do with Hannah, even while part of me recognized the wisdom in his actions. My reaction had to be due to this damnable mate bond. I’d heard it made males irrationally jealous. Damn it all to the void, the grave, and everything besides and beyond. That was the last thing I needed.
Ashren moved to stand near the window, his reflection dim in the dark glass. “No. I assumed an outcome you didn’t, and I acted appropriately. I was going down there anyway. If I had disagreed with Thea’s presence, I would have sent her away. She likely anticipated what I would have told her to do if she had asked, and what you wanted.”
I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw. “Yes. Sheanticipateswhatyouwant.”
“She would never go against your true wishes, Kai.” He spoke in that same measured tone. “She is loyal and intelligent, and I was already on my way there for the exact same reason.”
Silence as taut as a drawn bowstring stretched between us. My magic stirred beneath my skin, restless and irritated, responding to just the memory of her. The lorn leaf dulled that impulse, but not enough. How could I be this raw when the lorn leaf’s influence should still be at nearly full strength? Maybe it was a weaker batch.
I straightened. “Neither you nor Thea will have anything to do with Hannah. Nor will any of the other servants unless I command it. You will take responsibility for the eastern supply inventories. Personally. Inspect the stores, confirm the numbers, and report back before the next meeting. No delegation.”
Ashren grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck. “That will take days.”
“So it will.” I moved a small stack of notes off the map and stuffed them under a large leather book. “Consider it time to reflect on proper conduct and the chain of command. You will devote yourself to it unless we are attacked and your services are required elsewhere.”
He inclined his head. “As you wish. Perhaps I’ll pray for an attack. Old King Bram should be striking any night now, shouldn’t he?”
There was no resentment in his voice. He would do the work and return exactly as loyal as he had left. He always did. Even now, he did not seem put out. He looked at me as if I’d been exposed, and he saw through me. Or rather…he saw how Hannah affected me.
Damn her.
Shaking my head, I looked at the map on the table. Though I desperately needed to work, I couldn’t focus. My attention kept drifting back toher.
I hated this.
A part of me wanted to ask him what he thought of her and admit she was my mate. But it didn’t matter. We would not be together, even if Fate tried to force it. I would bury my emotions with herbs, along with decades of discipline and layers of isolation.
“So we’re not going to talk about what else happened?”
My attention snapped back up.
Ashren was just standing there with his arms folded and his head canted, as if we were having a normal conversation and I hadn’t scolded him and assigned him some menial task to occupy his time as a punishment.
“Talk about what?” I arched a brow.
