Stuck to the view, I do just that. Watch as the fighting rages on.
“This was a stupid idea,” I hiss at him. “For us to come here. There are too many of them. We don’t have the advantage here that we had at Cliffhelm—and eventhatwas planned on a damn prayer. We don’t have a rotten ground to work with here. I don’t know how they thought this was a good idea…”
Fae are slaying Orean soldiers down there. I justknowit. What if it’smyOrean soldier? What if Osrik is hurt, or dying?
My stomach roils.
“We might not have a rotten ground, but Fourth’s army is the fiercest for a reason, and it’s not only because of King Rot. They’re known for being master strategists.”
“I don’t care,” I snarl. “We’re going to lose. Everyone is going to die. Look at all of them!”
Manu carefully places his hand on mine where my nails are digging into the sill. I didn’t realize I was shaking until right now, but his touch makes me freeze in place.
“You aren’t going to die,” he says quietly, and I finally slash my gaze from the battle to his face. He’s looking at me withsoft sympathy. A shared humanity, which is so very different from how he looked at me in the gardens of Brackhill right before I was stabbed by the very people he let in.
“I promise you this, Lady Rissa. If we should lose today, I will personally do everything in my power to get you out. You willnotdie.”
I believe what he says—his tone is too vehement for me not to. And while I am afraid for myself, I’m mostly terrified for Osrik. I can’t bear to go down to that battlefield and see him in a puddle of blood, all hacked up.
Tears burn my eyes.
“Aren’t you frightened for your sister?” I whisper.
Manu nods. “Yes. But I believe we are going to make it out of this.”
“Why?”
He lifts a shoulder. “Sometimes, you have to live on faith.”
Through the open window, snow starts to blow in alongside another crash of stone. The screaming has stopped, but now, it sounds like a thousand voices are yelling at once. If it’s this loud here, I can’t even imagine how blaring it is right in the thick of it.
A blinding light tosses into the sky toward a group of circling timberwings. I hear Manu suck in a breath, his face going pale as the birds start to screech.
Trails of smoke follow as four of them fall through the air.
“Who is it?” I desperately ask. “Who got hit?”
“I—I don’t know,” he says, shaken for the first time. “It looked like Third’s colors, but I’m not sure…”
It could be his sister, or he could be wrong and it could’ve been Osrik.
The back of my throat burns with bile, and this time, I squeeze his hand.
“Live on faith,” I grit out. “Right?”
He glances over at me, his expression grim, but he squeezes my hand back. The two of us, him full of regret, me with hate, now joined together with fear.
“Yes, Lady Rissa. We must keep faith.”
But how do you do that when it feels so futile?
CHAPTER 45
RISSA
My breath rattles in mychest like someone is shaking it in a bottle. Manu and I watch out the window as the fae start to overwhelm our soldiers. Even I can tell we’re losing.
We squeeze each other’s hands hard, worry gripping us both.
