“To go away,” I say quickly, because I need to keep that goal in mind. I can’t let him or anyone else deter me from my plans. “I’m going to get the gold Auren promised me, and then I’ll leave for the first ship I can afford, to the farthest city I can go. Maybe to the deserts of Second Kingdom, since it’s about as opposite of Fifth Kingdom as I can get.”
He nods. “What will you do then?”
“I’ll do whatever I like. I’ll do nothing at all.”
“You don’t want to be a saddle anymore?”
My eyes tighten. “No.”
There’s a lull between us for a second where all I hear is the spitting fire and the gulp of wine as he takes another drink. “You could stay.”
I frown over at him. “What?”
“In Fourth Kingdom. You could stay.”
“Why would I stay there?”
“It only snows near the border at the mountains, so you wouldn’t have that in the capital. Plus, I’ll be there. So will Gildy.”
“And you think those are incentives?” I ask sharply.
He only shrugs. “Could be. If you let them be.”
I open my mouth to make some rude retort, but for some reason, I stop and shake my head. “You pointed out yourself that I’ve blackmailed and used Auren. Why would you even suggest I stay?”
“Seems to me you got one woman who you’re bending over backwards for who wants nothing to do with you...and another woman who’s done nothing but try to be there for you, who you’re happy to step on. Just thought you could consider another way.”
Anger is my natural, knee-jerk response, but this time, it simmers beneath a surface of sadness. This sad feeling is like a slap to the face, startling me so much that I’m horrified when I feel my eyes burning, and not from exhaustion, but fromemotion.
I try to tamp it down, try to swallow it away, because I detest crying.
“Hey.”
Turning my face, I refuse to look at him, hating how vulnerable I suddenly feel. But of course, the barbarian can’t let it lie. I feel him vividly as he stands before me, and then his finger and thumb are gripping my chin, turning my face up to look at him. He’s got a deep frown, muddy brown eyes caught in a perpetual glower. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit. What’s wrong?”
I should jerk my head out of his hold. I should stand up and shove him away. But instead, I find myself leaning into his touch, find a tear tracking down my cheek that he thumbs away. The touch leaves behind a streak of tingles, as if I’m some innocent maiden. Ridiculous.
“It won’t matter if I leave,” I say, my voice sounding far too fragile for my liking. What is it about this man that leaves me so upside-down?
Somehow, his glowering eyes soften. I didn’t even know he was capable of such a look, or why he’s giving it tome.
“It would matter to me, Yellow Bell.”
I swallow hard. “Why?”
Why would you care? Why do I keep watching you? Why are you trying to help me? Why does my heart quicken every time you’re near?
“I like your peppery attitude,” he says with a smirk. “I’ve always enjoyed a little bite.”
The vision of him bitingme, peppering nibbles along my flesh, suddenly flashes through my mind in a far too realistic vision.
“I have a plan, and you’re not in it,” I say as I finally gain the strength to pull away and get to my feet. Of course, he doesn’t back away, doesn’t give me space. Now, with both of us standing, he’s so close that his body brushes against mine, my head tilting back because of how ridiculously tall he is. Despite the thick coat I have on me, I can feel the heat burning from him to me.
“Change your plan,” he murmurs, eyes dropping down to my lips.
