Niko rears back like I physically assaulted him. “Why would you ever think I’d get sick of you, Sadie?”
Embarrassed, I shrug my shoulders and play with the pendant on my necklace but I refuse to look away from him. “All my past relationships ended because they thought I was ridiculous or they didn’t understand my lifestyle.” A sad laugh escapes and I go on. “Heck, even my parents think I’m a disappointment. They gave up on me a long time ago.”
This time Niko scoots forward, invading my space in the best possible way. He presses his forehead against mine. After a beat, he pulls back and looks me straight in the eyes. With as much conviction as I’ve ever heard, he finally speaks.
“You are not the problem, Sadie. You think you’re not enough? You’re everything I’ve been waiting for. Those people who left you, they couldn’t carry something this big, thiswonderful. I can. Iwantto. They were too small to see what I see. You’re exactly enough.”
The world around me fades away. It’s just me and Niko.
You’re exactly enough.
His words sink into the cracks I’ve carried for years, sealing them shut with not just hope, but certainty. It’s like every scar I’ve carried, every time I’ve been told I’m wasting my time on a job instead of a career, or every time I’ve been told I’m not good enough…all those things burn away. I want to cry and laugh and collapse into him all at once.
God, I’ve been searching for this my entire life. For someone who doesn’t just tolerate me, but chooses me. All of me. For the first time, I don’t want to run. I believe we can make this work.
Maybe that’s what love is. It isn’t about fitting into a one-size-fits-all box. It’s about finding the one person who holds a different-shaped box for you.
Is this love? I’m not sure. But I’m willing to stick around and find out.
I reach out and cup his face with my hands and kiss this man like the world is ending.
No. Not an ending. A beginning.
He kisses back with an intensity that matches mine and we lose ourselves in each other. The kiss deepens just as the tea kettle screams from the kitchen, the universe yet again interrupting our moment. The sound drags us apart when all I want to do is get lost in him.
I make a whining sound when Niko stands from the couch. He laughs and leans down to kiss my forehead. “There will be plenty of time for that later.”
“Yeah, yeah. At this rate, I think the world is working against us.”
Niko grabs a couple mugs hanging near my coffee maker and looks over his shoulder at me. “Us against the world, baby. I can live with that.”
I throw myself back against the couch and lean my head against the cushion. A goofy grin stretches across my face and I close my eyes and take a second to let this sink in. Niko and I are really doing this. This wonderful, selfless man is choosing me?
Time and time again, I’ve felt like Meredith Grey when she begged McDreamy to pick her.Pick me. Choose Me. Love me.I’ve long since given up the hope that someone would willingly choose me, but Niko Koskinen came into my life and put every other man to shame. He is the gold standard for the male species, and out of all the women in the world he chose me.
My mind is still trying to wrap itself around the fact that we’re giving this thing a real shot when I feel the couch move next to me. I open my eyes to find Niko holding two mugs of steaming tea with honey sticks sticking out of them.
I reach over and take a mug from him and inhale the sweet scent of the tea. “Mmm. You picked my favorite kind.”
Niko looks sheepish when he responds. “I’m not a big tea drinker but when it comes to you, I know lavender is never a bad choice. And I’m pretty sure chamomile is good to have at bedtime?”
He says the last part as a question and hearing this massive hockey star talk about chamomile tea is so damn cute.
“You’re right. Chamomile and lavender is the perfect late-night combination.”
I stir my honey stick and lift the mug to my mouth to blow on it. The steam envelops my face and I take a deep breath, instantly feeling calmer. Before I take a sip, I ask Niko the question that’s been gnawing at me ever since his phone started vibrating earlier.
“Is everything okay with Sophia’s mom?”
Not saying her name is a choice. Sophia has become one of the most important people in my life, and if I focus on the fact that Niko’s ex is her mother, it keeps me from thinking ofher as anything else. Referring to her by name would give her an identity outside of that, and I refuse to think of her more than anything other than Sophia’s birth mom, even though I use the term “mom” loosely. I don’t usually judge people I don’t know, but I think I know enough now to know she may fall in the same category as my own mother. Outside of giving birth, they haven’t done much else to deserve the title.
Niko takes a sip of his tea and his eyes light up in wonderment. “Damn, this is pretty good.”
I smile at his surprise and wait for him to answer my question.
“I don’t know how to answer that question. She wanted to know if she could come visit Sophia for her birthday. Which, by the way, she didn’t even know the correct date of.”
Yet another thing she has in common with my mother. Forgetting their child’s birthday.
