Except that’s a lie. Sadie is what made me see clearly for the first time. She’s been a steady, positive influence on my daughter since the moment they met. She’s exactly what I want for my daughter. Fuck. She’s exactly what I want too. She’s funny. She’s caring. She’s unique and quirky. She pushes me to be a better man and parent. I love every single thing about her. I don’t care that it’s only been a couple months. She’s brought color and light into our lives. And I’m done questioning how I feel about her.
Claire is babbling about something in my ear but I’m not paying attention anymore. There’s only one thing on my mind.
“Sorry, Claire. I’m going to have to call you back.”
Her annoying voice protests loudly, but I end the call. As soon as I hang up, I slide my phone to Do Not Disturb and make sure my parents’ phone numbers are still listed so their calls will still come through.
I slide my phone into my pocket and jog into the house. I don’t bother shutting the door behind me. There’s no time.
I need to get to Sadie.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
My fist pounds against Sadie’s door again. After my first two attempts went unanswered, I double-checked the garage to make sure she didn’t leave, and sure enough, the Subaru was still parked inside.
I’m not sure why I’m knocking again, she clearly doesn’twant to be bothered. Or maybe she went for a walk? I should probably wait here. Just in case.
I take a seat on the steps that lead to her door. Burying my head in my hands, I try to figure out what I’m going to say when she gets back. If she even went anywhere. If she’ll even want to talk to me. I can’t worry about the what ifs right now; I need to focus on fixing whatever is going on between us.
My heart, body, and soul know that Sadie can feel this too. Whatever this invisible force between us is, I know she recognizes it too. I don’t want to fight it anymore. I’m not going to let Claire or the fact that she’s my daughter’s nanny ruin that for us. I’m done being scared.
She’s so much more than a nanny. She’s my meditation partner. She’s Sophia’s best friend. She’s the one person I can open up to about anything. She’s the reason I smile every fucking day. I need her to know that she’s become so much more than a friend to me.
Please, God. Let her be open to hearing what I have to say.
As I’m trying to formulate a speech, a plan, anything to make her stay, the door behind me opens.
I lift my head and turn to see Sadie’s hair is wet, as if she just got out of the shower, and she’s dressed in a matching purple, silk pajama set. Her eyes are wide with shock when she spots me.
“Niko. What are you doing here?”
I stand before she can change her mind and slam the door in my face. I reach out and grab her hands with mine.
“Sadie, I’m so sorry I answered the phone. I never should’ve answered her call. I should’ve known it’s never important with Claire.”
She looks away from me to a spot on the wall. I grab her chin with my thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look at me again.
“You are so much more important to me.”
Her eyes fill with tears and before I can think better of it,I’m wrapping my arms around her and cradling her head to my chest. “Oh, baby. I am so sorry. Please don’t cry.”
Sadie lifts her head and takes a step back. She wipes her face with the back of her hand then gives me a smirk. “Did you just call me baby?”
My lips are on hers in an instant. I need her like I need air in this moment, but I refuse to come up for any as my tongue thrashes with hers.
After a minute, she pushes me away again and keeps her hands up in front of her. “Niko, wait. What are we even doing right now?”
I take a step closer, invading her space until her hands are pressed against my chest. I take her hand in mine and hold it to my heart.
“I don’t know, Sadie. All I know is that I can’t fight what I’m feeling for you anymore. Do you feel how fast my heart is beating right now?” I push her hand harder into my chest where she can feel the pounding underneath my ribs. “That happens anytime we’re in the same room. My body craves yours in a way I’ve never felt before. When I’m not near you, it’s like a piece of me is missing. I want you. Every single part of you.”
She shakes her head but doesn’t try to escape my hold on her hand. “But what if this doesn’t work, Niko? What about Sophia?”
I lift her hand from my chest and kiss her palm.
“But what if it does work,Kulta?”
Niko calls me “Kulta”for the third time tonight and it sends a rush of adrenaline through me. I’m dying to know what it means. And if the way he says it is any indication, I know it’s going to rock my world. My curiosity gets the best of me and I blurt out my question.
