“Right now, messy as hell, but I can see where it’s headed. It’s an incredible upgrade. Who knows, I might quit the PR hustle and start baking full-time.”
He laughed. “Please don’t. The drugged-up athletes and messy starlets need you.”
We both went quiet.
“All of that stuff is an apology for my behavior,” Harrison finally said. “I really am sorry, Gwen.”
My heart pinched at the sincerity in his voice. It made it even harder to say what I knew I needed to say, in spite of my new million-dollar kitchen.
“I appreciate all of it, Harrison. It’s too much, which is sort of the point I want to make.”
“Nothing is too much if it makes you happy,” he said quickly, as if he could sense where the conversation was headed and wanted to cut it off at the pass.
I took a deep breath before speaking. “Harrison, I know that you like trying to fix things, but I don’t appreciate being treated like a problem your magic wallet will solve.”
“Hold on, Gwen, no, you wereneverthe problem. I was. You always deserved better than what I was offering you. I froze you out because I was scared.”
I frowned at my reflection in the window. Harrison admitting that he was scared was huge, but it still didn’t get to the heart of the issue.
“Thank you for saying that.”
“Well, it’s true. I’m glad you called, because I want to figure this out. I’m hoping you’ll give us another chance.Meanother chance,” he corrected himself.
I paced in a tight circle, fighting what my heart was trying to convince me to say. This was so close to what I’d wanted to hear him say from the moment he’d walked out my door…but it still didn’t quite hit the mark.
He knew he was wrong, but he hadn’t said anything about how he was going to change. And without change, I knew we’d end upright back in the same problem down the road. I wasn’t willing to risk the pain again. I took a deep breath.
“Harrison, your gift is wonderful, but it doesn’t change a thing between us.” My voice cracked, but I pushed on. “We could try again, sure, and it would be amazing for a while. We both know that. But when life happens and things get too stressful or emotional, I don’t know for sure that you’d be there for me. The way you reacted after my accidentreallyhurt me.”
I took a breath. “And it sort of feels like this kitchen reno is a different version of the same vibe; it’s an incredible gesture, but it’s hollow. I neededyouin that moment, and you kept yourself at a distance from me. You gave mestuff,you bought me food, but I could barely get you to hug me, and holyshitthat hurt. More than the shattered glass and airbag to the face.”
“Gwen, I’m sorry, I?—”
“Let me finish, please,” I begged, because I could feel my resolve slipping at the pain in his voice. “It’s easy to throw money at a problem, but if you don’t sort out the issues underneath it all, it’s like putting frosting on a burnt cake. It sure looks pretty, but once you cut a little deeper, you see that there’s nothing worth saving.”
My hands were shaky, and I felt lightheaded. It was a test of my willpower, like Harrison was a drug my body was desperate to have despite what my brain was telling it.
“Throwing gifts at me…that’s easy. The issue is, I’m just not sure you can give me what I actually need in a relationship. And I’m not willing to take the chance with my heart again.”
He blew out a long breath. My honesty had knocked him off balance. “Gwen…”
I knew better than to hope that he’d beg me to change my mind or get choked up admitting that he had work to do on himself.
“I don’t know what else to say.” His sigh sounded strained, like it hurt.
I squeezed my eyes shut before a tear could slide out.
“Then I’ll say it for both of us: it’s over.”
The line went silent for so long that I thought he might’ve hung up. After all, how often was Harrison told “no”?
“Is that what you really want?”
I wanted to scream, “No, you idiot!” but it wouldn’t matter. Harrison was who he was, and that didn’t seem likely to change.
“Yes. It is. I hope you understand.”
“I can’t say that I do, but I’ll respect your wishes.”
