Sydney threw her hands up in front of her. “Okay, okay, I’m leaving.”
The door clicked shut, and I found myself speaking before I’d even had a chance to weigh the pros and cons of what I was about to offer Kevin.
“Be my personal pilot,” I said.
“Huh?”
“It’s the perfect solution: I hate flying with anyone but you, and you hate flying everyone but me. So if I make you my chief pilot, it solves both of our problems. You’ll still be eligible for benefits?—”
“How?” Kevin interrupted. “You barely travel these days. It would be less than part-time.”
“Did you forget whose name is on your paycheck? I’d make it happen, don’t worry about it. And I plan to dedicate some time to overseas expansion, so I’ll need you more than you think.”
“Thelastthing you need to do is work more,” Kevin shook his head at me.
I shot him a look. “We’re not talking about me right now, okay? So with you flying a scheduled, part-time calendar, you’d be able to plan out a teaching calendar, which means you can go back to the work you love.”
Kevin looked like he couldn’t take it all in, staring off into space with the tape unrolled between his hands.
“This sounds too good to be true.”
“Nope, not at all. It makes perfect sense.”
Kevin sat down on the stepstool next to him slowly. “Yeah, you’re right. It does. I’m in shock. This is basically a dream come true. Itispossible to have it all.”
I bit my tongue to keep from spoiling the moment, because I knew the truth: somethingalwayswent sideways. Maybe right now, in this moment, everything in his life felt right, but the bitch-slap of reality would catch up to him soon enough. He’d have to make sacrifices eventually. All I was doing by shifting his position at Ashford was pushing back the inevitable.
“So, yes?” I asked him.
“Fuck yes!” Kevin laughed. “Thank you! I can’t believe how perfect my life is right now.”
“Do you ever get worried?” I asked before I could stop myself. “About what could go wrong?”
This time he laughedatme. “You’re Mr. Doom and Gloom, every time. No, my friend, I don’t worry about that, because I choose to live in the moment, and right now the moment is giving meeverything I ever wanted. I’m happy! Why would I go searching for things to be upset about?”
I had to admit that he had a point. I didn’t thinkIwas capable of his carefree, living-in-the-moment approach to life, but it was sure working for him.
I tried it on for a split second in my mind, to imagine what his sort of contentment could feel like. On paper, my life was pretty damn amazing. I was running a business I loved, my relationship with my father was on the mend, and I had good friends by my side.
But there was an unmistakable void that overshadowed everything else.
And deep down I knewshewas the missing piece.
30
GWEN
Istill couldn’t quite figure out why I was dragging my feet about hiring an assistant. I’d interviewed five people who were supremely qualified, and I’d gotten along with all of them to the point where I could already envision how well we’d work together. But I had this inexplicableblockthat I chalked up to decision fatigue.
Too many strong choices and not enough brainpower to make the call. I’d think about it tomorrow.
Which was exactly what I’d said the day before.
I was still weighing pros and cons as I trudged down the hallway to my apartment. I pulled my keys from my purse but froze as I got closer. My front door was cracked open, and I could hear loud voices and pounding from inside.
Maybe Sarah had gotten home a few hours earlier than expected and was hosting a party that included stress-relieving demolition? Because the sounds seeping into the hallway were alarming as hell.
“Um, hello?” I called as I pushed the door open.
