“You really don’t know?” I asked, incredulous. “That’s Scarlet’s signature accessory. All of her fans wear them. Her song, ‘Straighten Your Crown’…that doesn’t ring a bell?” I paused while he stared at me like I was speaking a different language. “Hey, queen, don’t be down, lift your head up and straighten your crown,” I sang.
The elevator felt smaller with each floor we climbed, Harrison’s presence filling the space until I was hyperaware of everything. My stupid voice, the way he rolled his shoulders when he was annoyed, how his eyes had gotten darker as I’d sung those lyrics. I caught myself staring at his mouth and forced my gaze away.
His expression relaxed into a hint of non-hatred, then shifted back to disdain.
“Never heard it.”
“Clearly,” I frowned at him. “Which is why you’re in this mess in the first place. Anyway, if you go with their plan, it’ll backfire, big time. The fans will sniff out a non-apology immediately, especially because whichever song Alan and his gang choose to play in the background will almost inevitably be wrong. Most of them have double meanings, so even if it’s something like ‘Happy Again,’ which sounds perfect from a title perspective, it’ll be a bomb because it’s about how if her ex disappears, she’ll finally feel happy again.”
I waved my hand. “And the tiara? Straight male Rushies aren’t supposed to wear them because it looks like appropriation and mocks her gay fans. Straight male Rushies all know that they signal support by wearing flat caps, like the backup dancers in ‘Dressed Up for You.’ And speaking of dancers, I bet they’ll want you to try either the ‘Peaches’ TikTok dance at the end of the video, or the one for ‘Solitary Surprise.’”
“You said you’re not a fan, but it sure sounds like?—”
“I said I wasn’t a Rushie. I didn’t say I wasn’t a fan,” I countered. That level of fandom was atime commitmentand a half. Frankly, I didn’t know how Rushies managed to get anything else done.
The elevator bell chimed, and as predicted, Alan and his team were congregated in the lobby, already drooling. They didn’t even acknowledge me and instead went straight to fawning over Flyboy.
Harrison shook Alan’s hand then shot a glance at me as I headed for my desk.
“Hermes,” he acknowledged, sounding reluctantly impressed.
I walked backward, smiling at him, and mimed placing a crown on top of my head.
4
HARRISON
Damnit. Why did she have to be so right?
It was getting hard for me not to flip out on Alan and his team of dorks, because they were wasting my time. I tried to keep my expression neutral as they worked through the presentation. They’d spent way too much time thin-splicing Scarlet’s fan base, which was fascinating from a marketing perspective but was nothing I actually needed. It was like they were trying to hide their lack of campaign creativity with the strength of their research.
“Now let’s get to the good stuff.” Alan smiled at me, wide and glossy. After staring at his teeth during the presentation, I was convinced he’d gotten his giant white veneers from Temu.
“We want to set you up somewhere neutral for a taped apology. Like when Bryant and Danielle did their apology video. They were sitting in front of a nondescript wall out back of their house, to downplay how absolutely stunning their property is.” Alan turned to his colleagues. “We were there, just off screen. The place is gorgeous, right?”
A group of three frat-esque guys all nodded in unison.
“So yeah,” Alan continued, “we’ll find someplace in your palace that’ll make you look less…”
“Ashford,” a colleague interjected with a knowing laugh.
“Exactly!” Alan agreed.
I shifted in my seat but kept my mouth shut.
“And of course we’ll have a Scarlet song playing in the background,” Alan said. “We were thinking ‘Happy Time,’ right? Isn’t that the name of it?”
“You mean ‘Happy Again.’” I frowned at how everything was unfolding just as Gwen had predicted.
Alan’s eyebrow shot up, and he jabbed a finger at me. “Ah, we’ve got a true Rushie here! That’ll play beautifully with her fans. So yeah, the song is on in the background, we’ll script out what you need to say, and stay with me here…I know this is a big ask, but it’ll really make all the difference…” He paused. “You.Tiara.”
“Yes,” one of the frat guys fist pumped like he was hearing the plan for the first time.
Alan kept going before I could say anything. “And there’s one more thing that’ll play huge with her base.”
“A dance,” I said flatly.
“Hell yeah,” he replied, nodding excitedly. “You get it! I’ll have one of our office gals teach you a viral TikTok dance you can do at the end of the video. The Rushies’ll eat that shit up! Sounds like you’re already down with the concept, so let’s talk about timing.”
