God, I still can’t picture him with a woman. He’s too gruff. Too grumpy. I can’t picture him having fun or taking pleasure.
I bet he’s a hell of a good time in bed, though.
I shove the intrusive thought away.
We bid each other goodbye, a rare pleasantry between us versus him slamming his door when I’m mid-sentence. Though I’m sort of open to the idea of him pushing me up against the door and running his nose along mine again, just this time ending with a kiss instead of a harsh remark about how he doesn’t make mistakes.
I finally listen to the voicemail from Billy.
“Hey, Ev, it’s me. It’s been a while, huh? I’ve been thinking about you. A lot. I heard you moved to Vegas. I’ll be in town next week on business and would love to meet for a drink.”
He’s been thinking about me? A lot? And he wants to meet for a drink?
I blow out a breath.
He was supposed to be my greatest love story, but he turned out to be my greatest heartbreak.
It took me a long time to feel like I’d gotten over him, and I’ve never really believed in second chances when it comes to love. It didn’t work out once. Why would it work out the next time? People don’t change. Not really. People are who they are at their core despite the different masks they try to wear to cover it up.
Like Maverick. I think at his core, he’s not a bad guy. He’s played football his whole life, and I’ve learned enough about being on a team from my brothers to know that those types of relationships can easily be fleeting. Between injuries, trades, retirements, practice squads, salary caps, and draft picks, players come and go every season. I don’t think there’s ever been a team that kept all fifty-three men for back-to-back seasons without some movement.
And on top of that, players tend to be absent for big chunks of time during the season, which makes it hard to maintain relationships with people who aren’t a part of that lifestyle.
I can see why he has a hard time letting people in.
And I’m working hard to unlock the way in so I can see what’s under those masks he’s keeping firmly in place.
But Billy? He never wore a mask. He wasn’t ready for commitment, and I don’t believe that six months later he is.
But…what if he is?
What if he realized life sucks without me and wants me back?
I realized how much it sucked without him the moment he ended things. I went home to an empty house. He’d been staying over nearly every night for two years, and I saw him everywhere.
I missed having him to come home to. I missed commuting to the office building together even though we didn’t work together. I missed lunch dates when he could get away. I missed having someone to kiss goodnight. I missed having someone’s hand in mine.
I longed for it all for a long time. I craved it.
But we’ve been apart now long enough for me to have forgotten the minor details that I missed so much when we first broke up.
I’ve found myself again. Billy didn’t like my red lipstick, so I wear it all the time now. He thought bright colors were too overstated and preferred a more monochromatic palette except for the occasional navy or brown.
I’ve found color in my world again.
I had a one-night stand a couple of months ago.
I can’t say I’d do that again, but I got to experience it.
I don’tlovethe dating process. I’d love to find someone and for things to just magically fall into place.
And maybe that’ll happen here in Vegas. Maybe it won’t happen until I return home to Chicago next year.
Or maybe it’ll happen if I agree to a drink with someone I thought had already been written out of my story.
CHAPTER 15: Maverick Jennings
Red Means Danger
