“That’s really nice of you.”
“I’m supposed to meet Mia, Caleb, and Tella here for the festival in a bit. She told me about your store.” He tips his head. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks,” I say, bobbing my head as I smile back at him. “It’s been a labor of love.”
“Oh, I’m sure.” He smiles, slowly scanning the streets before looking back at me. “Mia told me that Jace Miller bought the rink here. I had forgotten he was from Sugar Hill.”
The sound of his name sends my heart into a spasm. “Yeah,” I say quickly, pausing as I swallow over the lump lodged in my throat. “He and his friend partnered on it.”
“Can you give him my number? We’ve spoken before, but that was years ago. I’d love to hear more about his plans for the rink.”
Forcing a smile onto my lips, I tuck my hands into the front pockets of my coat. “Yes, of course,” I say, then fill my lungs with a deep inhale. “I will make sure someone gets your number to him.”
His brow furrows. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he says in a rush, shaking his head. His eyes slowly search mine. “I must have misunderstood Mia. I thought she said the two of you were dating.”
Shifting my weight on my feet, I corkscrew my lips to the left and swiftly shake my head at him. “Not really.”
Dean arches an eyebrow, turning his body in the direction I was walking. “I’ll walk you to your shop and you can tell me all about it.” He pauses, motioning for me to walk with him. “Only if you want to. There’s no pressure.”
A sigh escapes me, my lungs deflating as I fall into step with him. He’s not a stranger, but he’s neutral enough. He knows Jace from hockey but I don’t think he knows him on a personal level… not like everyone else around here does.
“Things just got a bit messy and complicated.”
Dean glances at me from the corner of his eye as he walks, pursing his lips. “Don’t they always?”
“He’s best friends with my brother and dealing with some stuff and I just don’t think time is on our side right now.”
“What do you mean? Like right person, wrong time?”
“Kind of,” I say softly, shrugging my shoulders. “He has this image of himself in his mind that because his hockey career is over, he’s a failure. He has this fear of letting everyone down or failing them.”
Dean falls silent and the only sound that follows us is the crunching of leaves with each step we take. “Fear is a real thing, that can keep us from truly living.” He takes a sip of his coffee. “I haven’t been in a serious relationship since I lost my wife.”
Turning my head, I look up at him. I quickly try to do the math in my head. “That was over twenty-years ago, wasn’t it?”
Dean blows out a breath, dipping his chin. “I didn’t date anyone until Mia was ten. I have my own issues and my own fears.” He lifts his hand to adjust the scarf draped around his neck.
“What are they?” I swallow roughly, stopping as we reach the front of the store. “I—you don’t have to answer that. I’m sorry, that was such an invasive question.”
“It was, but I don’t mind answering,” he says after a moment as he stares down at me with an understanding look in his eyes. “Sometimes hearing about other people’s issues can help provide solace when you’re dealing with your own shit.” He shifts his weight on his feet. “For me, it’s easier if I don’t get overly involved with someone. If I get close to someone and lose them…” He adjusts his glasses. “I’m sure you get it.”
“No, I do,” I say quietly, nodding my head. “I can’t even imagine how hard it must be. I feel so stupid, like the reason I walked away from Jace is so insignificant compared to that.”
Dean is quiet for a moment, his eyes slowly searching mine. “That’s not true. There’s no comparison between someone else’s situation and your own. The way each person perceives or experiences life is theirs, not yours.”
Mulling over his words, I drop my gaze down to my hands and pull my keys from my pocket, flipping through them until I find the one for the shop. “I suppose you have a point.”
“Jace’s fear makes sense,” Dean offers, his eyes meeting mine as I lift my head. “He dedicated his entire life to his hockey career and it’s impossible to keep that from becoming your identity.”
“You’re right.”
“He failed himself, Willow. Even though it was something out of his control, I would be willing to bet that he thinks he’s failed himself more than anyone else.”
His words hang around me as a heaviness settles on my chest. “He said he doesn’t want to fail me or let me down.”
“I’m sure he’s feeling a bit lost in this whole situation. If he truly cares about you, that thought of making you feel the way he’s felt is the last thing he wants to do.”
“He told me he needed to let me go.” I shake my head, focusing on my feet as the memory washes over me. “Would he really think that would feel better than him letting me down?”
