I’m knee-deep in highly inappropriate thoughts when he tilts my chin up so that I can look into his eyes. “Will you come to my game today?” he asks. He sounds confident and sure of himself, but I can see his underlying vulnerability. There’s something so sweet about Ryker being nervous.
I slide my fingers into his hair, lifting onto my toes and placing a soft kiss on his cheek. “I’d love to.”
His hands tug on my hair, tilting my head back further, fusing our mouths back together, and deepening the kiss. Gratitude and excitement are pouring off of him in waves. I’m already on my toes, so he’s setting the pace. Once again, we become a frantic mess of tongues and teeth, his emotions mixing with mine, and the heat within me ignites like it’s just been lying in wait.
As if sensing where my thoughts have gone, his hands drift down to my ass again, tugging me impossibly closer until I feel how hard he is against my stomach.
A gaspy moan escapes my lips as he pulls back, his whole body taut and restrained.
“That fucking sound,” he growls.
I chuckle lightly, falling against the door for support while I breathe through the energy build-up. “Can I ask you something?” My cheeks heat, but it’s been nagging at me all night. He nods, and I continue, “Will we have sex before our Ceremony?”
I swear I watch his eyes darken exponentially as his nostrils flare, his palms coming up and planting on either side of my head.
“Do you want to have sex beforeourCeremony?” he asks, his voice low, almost a whisper. My chest heaves with the air I’m attempting to inhale, but failing to do so.
“I don’t—I haven’t—” I take a deep breath, finding my courage. I’m a princess, and he’s my fated future, so I’d better learn how to talk to him. “I’ve never even kissed anyone until you,” I admit. “But this fire between us—I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone.”
His features lift with a small smirk. “Good.” He shifts, pressing his body into me again, the proof of his desire, pinning me in place against the door. “I want all of you to myself. Every kiss, every touch, every heated moment, every gasping moan—I want them all to belong to me.” My cheeks flush as I attempt to breathe, his face so close I can feel his hot breath tickling my cheek. “And if you ever learn to control that Bond of yours, then we can talk. I won’t push you farther than you’re ready to go.”
“And if I want to?”
He chuckles, the sound wrapping around me. “Then who am I to deny you? Trust me, Soraea, I cannot wait to sink myself so deep in you that you forget the rest of the galaxy exists. I want to hear you screaming my name as I make you come on my cock, giving all of you over to me.”
I’m pretty sure I stop breathing as my toes curl. I’ve never heard such filthy words and been so turned on at the same time.
Ryker leans in further until his mouth brushes the shell of my ear. “When you finally give yourself to me, whether it’s before or after, I’m going to roar so loud, and mark you so thoroughly, that everyone in every corner of this system will know you belong to me.”
My head turns so that our mouths are so close, sharing the same air. “And do I?” I ask breathlessly. “Belong to you?” I swallow thickly, running my fingertips along the grooves of the door at my back. I’ve never allowed myself to be this vulnerable with anyone.
Ryker stands to his full height, making me crane my neck. “I’ve belonged to you far longer than you know, Princess.” He reaches out, brushing his thumb along my jaw. “The question only you can answer is if you’re ready to belong to me.”
“I—” His finger presses down on my lips, silencing me.
“I told you to think about it. Because when you say yes, there’s no going back, there’s no changing your mind. I do not share, and I will not stand back silently watching as other men try to flirt with you. You will be mine and only mine. So think about it.” He removes his finger from my mouth as I draw in a shallow breath.
What is it that I want? If I have over a year left, am I ready to commit to Ryker? Should I be using this time to flirt and enjoy being single? Dread sinks in my stomach. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I’m ready for.
I do know that the idea of him taking those same luxuries has me wanting to vomit, but it would be wrong of me to ask that of him if I am not ready for that level of commitment. It’s not that I have this sudden urge to flirt with society, but belonging to a man before TheCeremony has just never been a possibility, and right now, it’s scary as hell.
As if sensing where my mind has gone, he leans down, placing a quick but tender kiss on the tip of my nose and offering me a smile. “There’s no rush, beautiful,” he mutters. “C’mon, let’s get you some food.” He takes a step back, effectively releasing me, and hands me my tea. I’m too stunned to do anything more than accept with a small smile as I follow him out, my mind still reeling.
So fast. Everything that has happened between us has been so fast. Even if we’ve known each other since we were in diapers. Even if I know the truth of my fate. He’s right. I need to take some time to think about it. In the meantime, I need to take things slow with him. I want to be sure about taking that step.
He walks at my side, slowing his steps to match mine as we make our way down the hall toward the dining hall. He remains quiet, watching me from the corner of his eye, but I hate this awkward tension between us.
“I’ll think about it.” My slippers tap on the stone floor. “You’re right. It’s a big decision, and I don’t…I mean, I haven’t even considered the possibility of being serious with someone before The Ceremony. I’ve always expected to wait for any sort of relationship until The Ceremony was complete.”
His hand brushes mine, our fingers briefly tangling, careful of watchful eyes. “Take as much time as you need. There’s no rush. Like I said,” he pauses, his voice turning to a whisper. “I’ve belonged to you far longer than you know.”
Before I can ask what he means, Ciara bounces up to my side, taking my hand and squealing about something. Ryker’s lip tilts up slightly as he winks, then saunters away. Ciara’s still babbling about something I’m not hearing as I watch him fill a plate of meat and eggs, his team gathering around him while most women’s eyes drift in his direction. I can’t blame them; a shirtless Ryker with a backward hat is the best kind of innocent fantasy, but it doesn’t stop me from seeing red. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought.
“Hey, RaeRae,” Kellan says, coming to my side as I take in thedining options. I don’t know why I bother looking. I know it will end the same as it does most mornings. A bagel, some fruit, and possibly some yogurt.
“Hey, Kel.” I shoot him a quick smile before grabbing a plate.
I ignore the red, blaring alarm going off in my head. If I say yes to Ryker, what does that mean for Kellan and me? Wasn’t it only last night that I promised not to make any decisions? I shove aside the guilt, finding a nice little box to lock into and focus on the present.
