I can vividly recall that moment as if it were only yesterday. I was so afraid of getting lost or hurt, but Kellan’s incessant teasing helped.
“He said the Azeban would steal all my snacks if I didn’t walk fast enough,” I giggle softly at the memory. “He always joked about strange, mythical creatures coming to get me or eat me, and somehow, his humor could transform the terrifying unknown into something less scary.”Oh,Kellan.
A painful burn is lodged in my throat, and a pang of guilt squeezes my heart. Kellan has no clue where I am, and I took off so quickly. Kellan, the one who’s always had my back, who’s been my rock through every hardship, deserves so much more than the secrets and the half-truths I’ve been giving him.
Guilt slams into me, a knife twisting in my heart. I need to tell him the truth. He deserves that much. “I have to go.” I gather my bag as I rise.
“Raea,” Anders says, his voice a tangle of pleading brokenness. He reaches for my wrist, but our fingers brush together, the contact sending a wild sort of energy through me. Emotions I don’t quite understand fill my mind, and I sink to my knees before him.
nine
. . .
Life isfull of moments that shape us in unforgettable ways, those pivotal experiences that change us irrevocably. When I was seven, during a game of hide and seek with Kellan and a few members of our palace staff, I managed to lock myself in the basement supply room. The door wouldn’t budge despite my best efforts. Surrounded by darkness, I felt fear wash over me, spiraling into thoughts of never being found, of wasting away and dying alone. I sobbed on the floor, succumbing to those irrational thoughts.
But after nearly an hour, relief arrived as the door swung open, spilling light into the room. One of the court’s handmaids knelt beside me, gently lifting me up from the floor and wiping away my tears. She reassured me that I wasn’t alone and that they’d never stop searching. At that moment, I learned how easily fear could overpower clarity. Even today, when I encounter dark, confined spaces, I have to remind myself that I am safe and not in danger of being trapped.
When I was eight, I went out to explore the forest. I thought I had been blessed by Calia herself when I came across a chittering Phranik—the creature was no larger than a shoe. With its pitch-black body spattered by glowing speckles reminiscent of stars, this little being captured my attention. It had delicate tendrils sprouting from its head,adorned with tiny lights, and magnificently oversized ears that made me giggle. Its ears shimmered with those twinkling flecks. Its long tail and stunning wings had a pearlescent hue of pink and green that took my breath away.
To my delight, it perched atop a log instead of fleeing. We shared a long moment of curiosity before it scurried away at the sound of another animal. It’s said that Phraniks are becoming increasingly rare, so encountering one felt like a gift.
When I was sixteen, I had the opportunity to take control of a transport flight to Trao, thanks to Kuron’s trust in Lieutenant Piori. In that moment of guiding the transport through the emptiness of space, I knew my life had permanently changed. Flying ignited a passion within me that I could never take back.
And now, I find myself in another life-altering moment. With a simple touch, a small brush of his fingers, I have been forever changed. Regardless of what may come next, this experience has left a mark on my heart. My soul feels an ache for him that is both new and old, nearly as essential as the very act of breathing.
Within me, there is a deep well filled with an energy that wasn’t there before, but also an emptiness that feels cold and foreign.
“Raea,” Anders breathes softly, the touch resonating with him too. There’s an undeniable depth of sympathy lacing his voice. “Raea, please, look at me.”
I can’t seem to meet his gaze right now. Maybe it’s the tears rolling down my cheeks that I can’t quite understand, or perhaps it’s the profound energy I felt coursing through me with a simple brush of his hand. It might also be the realization that he felt it too. What we share is much more than just a connection or Bond—it’s something else entirely.
“Please,” I whisper with a soft exhale. “Give me a minute.” He nods, leaning back on the rock and waiting, with only the sound of the rushing water surrounding us. Deep within my soul, I sense this is far greater than I can comprehend. Our Bond feels different, subtle, and gentle, while this sensation is overwhelming and exhilarating. It is raw and unfettered power, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
When I finally regain my composure, I muster the courage to look at him. His body is relaxed, and his eyes are closed. More than anything, my curiosity compels me to know—no, to understand—what’s going on in his mind.
“Anders,” I whisper, breaking the long silence between us. His eyes flutter open, locking onto mine, revealing the longing and confusion mirrored in each other’s gazes.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—” he starts.
“It’s okay,” I interrupt gently. “Honestly, I think it’s better that it happened here than...” I wave my hand around us, gesturing to ‘anywhere else’.
He nods, leaning on his elbow and turning to face me fully. “What exactly was that?” I ask.
“I can’t say for certain.” He pauses for a long moment. “It’s the energy I mentioned earlier. I thought I felt it by the lake, but I was unsure whether it was just my imagination. Then I realized it’s the same sensation each time I touch you, though much weaker. I didn’t want to ask until I knew you felt it too.”
I wipe away another tear, feeling a mix of vulnerability and trepidation. We’re both about to cross a line we can’t come back from by being honest and admitting some strong feelings I’ve been so desperate to ignore. “What exactly do you feel?” I inquire, keeping my voice low yet audible amidst the relaxing sounds of the river.
He lets out a soft chuckle, dropping his head back to gaze at the sky as if it might hold the answers we both seek.
“I can’t quite put it into words. It’s just this surge of energy. I feel electrified, as if my emotions are bursting at the seams. It’s simple to explain when it’s just your wrist or a hand on your back. It’s like I’ve just downed a strong cup of coffee. I feel vibrant and full of life—honestly, it’s almost addictive.” He grins at me, and my breath rushes out of me. I’ve seen him smile plenty, but this...this is new, and damn, that dimple is the absolute worst. “Your turn! Since we’re being honest and all.” His eyebrows raise with playful expectation.
“Honestly, it’s pretty similar.” I shrug, but I know it’s so much more than that deep down.
“Soraea.” He gently tilts my chin with his finger, forcing me to meet his gaze. His touch radiates a subtle energy and warmth, igniting an inappropriate want that travels down my core, making my toes curl. Hearing my full name sends me reeling. Only my parents call me Soraea. Kellan, Ciara, and a few trusted acquaintances know my full name. I chose to go by Raea ages ago, and it’s been years since I was called Soraea.
“Promise me you will never hide the truth from me. It’s the one thing I ask of you.” His words somehow sober me. I can’t help but gasp at the intensity as if he’s speaking to the depths of my soul. I quickly push those feelings aside, retreating to my familiar defense mechanism—sassy humor.
“It’s not really a lie.” I shrug. “‘Pretty much’ is such a vague term. But if you really want to know the whole story…” I cross my legs and pull them close, instinctively shielding myself with my gown. “Oh gods, you’re going to think I’m crazy,” I murmur, half-laughing.
