Violet pressed her lips together, clearly trying to hold back a smile as she thought about that.
“I guess you’re right,” she said. She pulled another book out and dropped it on the growing pile. “Hey, have you checked your exams yet?”
Today was Exam Review Day, which meant that we could go around and see our graded exams. We’d already received our report cards, so the only benefit of doing it was to see what you got right or wrong on the exam. Being the studious person she was, Violet had dragged me to every class to look at her exams before coming to clean out her locker. Personally, I couldn’t care less. All that mattered was that I passed all my classes with high enough grades to keep my admission to university.
“Violet, I love you,” Jaxon said with a shake of his head, “but I think you may be the only student in this whole school who actually wants to look at their marks.”
Violet stuck her tongue out at him and turned back to her locker. Jaxon grinned at her in the way that only a boyfriend does, and for a second I was hit with a wave of jealousy. I had no idea where it had come from or why it was there. I mean, it wasn’t like I wanted Jaxon or even a boy like him. Sure, he was perfect for Violet, but he was a little too arrogant for my taste. I guess it was just that... I wanted someone to smile at me like that. I wanted someone to be so head-over-heels in love with me the way that Jaxon was with Violet. I wanted someone to want to be with me for more than just a week or two.
I shook my head as if physically pushing away those thoughts and turned my attention away from the two lovebirds. What was I thinking, anyway? I didn’t actually want that; I just liked the idea of it. I knew myself well enough to know that a relationship wasn’t for me. It wasn’t as if I’d been seeking something like that out. I just ended up stuck with guys who only wanted to go out for a couple of dates before dumping me. Actually, I was always the one dumping them on the principle that it was best to end things when they were still going well instead of letting the relationship crash and burn. I wanted boys to remember me at my best and to wonder what it would have been like to have me for longer.
“Why did they make Exam Review the day after graduation, anyway?” I asked, trying to take my mind off it. “They had to know nobody would come.”
Sure, we all had to be here to clean out our lockers (except for those people who thought ahead and cleaned out their lockers before exams), but that wouldn’t make a bunch of hungover teenagers any more likely to go look at their exams.
“The idea was to make people think twice about whatever they were going to do at the graduation after-parties,” Violet said. Of course, the head girl would have the actual answer to my question. “Since they have things to do the next day.”
“And they didn’t stop to think that not enough seniors care about Exam Review for that to have any sort of impact?” Jaxon asked.
Violet shrugged. “I tried to tell them, but they thought I was wrong. Because why bother listening to the student representative about student issues, right?”
“The faculty is stupid,” Jaxon said. “They didn’t even make today the last chance to clean out lockers either.”
“It’s not?” I asked. I glared at Violet, who looked away sheepishly. She’d told me we absolutely had to clean out our lockers today to convince me to come with her. If I’d known that wasn’t true, I would have stayed in bed all day.
“I wanted you to come to Exam Review Day with me,” she said. She held up her hand with her index finger and thumb close together. “It was only a small lie.”
I rolled my eyes, then immediately regretted it as a wave of nausea rolled over me. The second that I felt better, I was going to kill her.
“Miss McKinnon!” I instinctively straightened up at the sound of Ms. Moscowitz’s voice carrying down the hallway. She marched toward me. “Why are you wearing sunglasses indoors?”
“It’s the new style,” I said in a deadpan. “Haven’t you heard?”
“Just because it’s a non-uniform day does not mean you can ignore all dress codes,” Ms. Moscowitz said. “Sunglasses off. Now.”
I didn’t know why she was getting so up in arms about it. It wasn’t like today was a real school day anyway, and I had already graduated. Really, I wasn’t even a student anymore. Was now really the time to pick this battle? On any other day, I probablywould have fought it, but I was so not in the mood to get yelled at right now. So I sighed and slowly slipped them off my face, squinting my eyes. At least the lights inside didn’t feel like they were burning my retinas as much as they had before. She continued to stare at me until I put them away in my backpack, then nodded in satisfaction and walked off.
I glared at Violet again. “Yeah, just a small lie with absolutely no consequences.”
Violet shrugged with one shoulder and smiled a little. “Next time, maybe you should check the schedule for yourself.”
Jaxon laughed. “Don’t feel bad, McKinnon. She did the same thing to me. I only found out because Eli just told me.”
“You two need me to keep your lives on track and you know it,” Violet said, waggling a finger at the two of us.
Jaxon moved behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and rested his chin on her shoulder. “As always, you’re right.”
I felt like somebody was squeezing my heart so tight that it might shatter into a thousand pieces. Why did I want what they had so badly? I shouldn’t have.
Violet looked at me with concern. “You all right, Madison? You look a little sick.”
I forced a smile. “I’m fine. Just dreading cleaning out my own locker, that’s all. It’s basically a dumpster.”
Jaxon laughed. “You and Sabrina are the same. Except she has a boyfriend to help her with hers, so…” He kept talking, but I felt like I couldn’t hear him anymore, even as I saw his lips moving.
I shifted my gaze to the floor and tried to turn my attention toward anything but the fact that everyone seemed to be in a relationship other than me. Violet had been joking in the car when she said three weeks was like a lifetime to me, but she wasn’t totally off either. I was closing in on a month without aboyfriend, and the last time that had happened had been back in the tenth grade... when I felt like there was no way I could be in a relationship again—no matter how short—after knowing what it felt like to kiss Charlie Owen. It was all well and good to go around dating every boy in sight when I didn’t know what I was missing, but once I experienced that… I knew nobody would ever compare to him.
Of course, I eventually started dating again, but that thought had never left the back of my mind. Every time I kissed somebody new, I hoped that maybe they would be the one to be better than the rest, but it never happened. Nobody ever compared to him.
