She tugged me into the living room where a large group of people had already gathered. I scanned the crowd quickly, looking for anyone I knew, but came up short. I probably knew at least some of them, but it was hard to tell when all the Bayshore Academy and Falcon High kids were intermingling.
“Everyone write your name on a piece of paper,” some girl was instructing. I recognized her as a senior from my school, but I wasn’t sure if we’d ever met. She had a hat in each hand and was holding them out. “Girls put your names in the red hat, boys in the purple one.”
Sabrina grabbed two of the small scraps of paper on the table and scribbled our names down while I watched over her shoulder. So far, this was nothing like a game I’d played before. Usually, we played it like spin the bottle except the two players had to go into the closet instead of kissing right away.
“Here,” Sabrina said to the girl. She put both pieces of paper in, and they quickly got covered by more papers as other girls came up to join. There were so many names in there that I had no idea how everyone was going to get the chance to play unless we took over every closet in the house. Anything short of that and everyone would get bored of the game too soon.
“Anyone else?” the girl asked. When nobody responded or stepped forward to add a name, she nodded. She put down the hat holding all the boys’ names and started shaking the one with the girls’ names, being careful not to let any papers slip out. “We’ll start with the girls. Boys, close your eyes.”
I frowned in confusion as all the boys in the room either closed their eyes, covered their faces, or looked away. “Why can’t the boys see?” I asked Sabrina.
“That’s part of the game,” she said. “Remember? You don’t know who you’re kissing.”
“But they’ll just hear the name anyway.”
“That’s why she’s not going to say it out loud,” Sabrina said with a wink.
“All right, first up,” the girl said. She pulled a paper out and opened it, holding the written side toward us. And there, written in Sabrina’s neat handwriting, was my name. “Follow me.”
I handed my drink to Sabrina and followed the girl down the hallway to the large closet in the entry hall. Actually, closet probably wasn’t the best word for it—it was more like a small mudroom filled with off-season clothes like coats and boots. I stepped inside and found an open space of wall to lean against, so I wouldn’t just be awkwardly standing in the middle of the room when the mystery guy came in.
“Remember,” the girl said, “no lights, no peeking, and no talking. When I knock on the door, stay in the dark so neither of you see each other’s face.”
The set of rules actually made me a little nervous, but I couldn’t say anything before she closed the door, and her footsteps receded back over to the living room. I wasn’t scared of the dark or anything, but the suggestion that this guy and I would have to navigate a kiss in the dark without words felt a bit strange. If I hadn’t known some of the people playing, I would have worried that this was an elaborate prank to get me to kiss someone I otherwise never would. Actually—now that I thought about it—there was no guarantee that it wasn’t. Just because Sabrina pulled me into the game didn’t mean she couldn’t be unknowingly pulling me into a prank.
Maybe participating in this was a bad idea. But I couldn’t just leave, could I? Everyone saw me get picked, and if I wasn’t here when the boy came in, then he would tell everyone. It wouldn’t be the end of the world I guess, but did I really want to deal with it at all?
I was still wrestling with the idea when the knock came on the door. I almost laughed at the absurdity of someone knocking on the closet door, until I remembered that it was the signal for me to stay back so that we wouldn’t see each other’s faces if the light from the hallway spilled over into the room. I shifted over a little so I was behind some coats. I made it just in time before the door opened up again, and somebody stepped inside.
“Have fun, lovebirds,” the girl said in a singsong voice. “I’ll be back in five minutes.”
And then the door shut again, sealing our fate.
We stood in total silence for a good twenty seconds, the awkwardness of the situation settling in. I was tempted to just stay like that for the full five minutes—how long could that really feel?—but the boy seemed to have other thoughts as he cleared his throat and shuffled toward me. I felt a little bad about being totally hidden behind some coats while he was blindly stumbling around looking for me, so I moved back over to the spot where I had been leaning before. A second later, a hand brushed against my waist, right at the top of my skirt. I guess he grew more confident once he found me because it only took another second for his other hand to brush against my neck. His breath brushed against my face, cold and minty.
“Can I kiss you?” he whispered. Well, there went the “no talking” rule. But the whispering effectively disguised his voice—if I would have even known it in the first place—because I didn’t recognize it at all. And the question did make me feel more comfortable with everything that was going on in here. I wasn’t opposed to the idea of kissing a stranger, but at least I knew what his intentions were now. Instead of responding verbally—and risking him recognizing my voice—I pushed myself on my tiptoes and moved forward, hoping that I was aiming in the right direction. Even in the dark, I seemed to guess well because a second later our mouths crashed together.
Not the most romantic beginning to a kiss I’d ever had, but hey, it wasn’t the worst either.
But the boy clearly had experience with this. He leaned his weight forward slightly, pinning me against the wall, and kissed me more fervently. I was happy to let him take the lead. Without any conscious thought, my arms lifted and wrapped around him, holding him close to me and molding my body to his.
Five minutes wasn’t enough. I wanted more of him—more time, more chances, more everything.
Why did this game have to be anonymous?
He pulled away too soon, breathing heavily like he wasn’t used to going for that long without a proper break to breathe. “Sorry. I think I got a little carried away.”
“You didn’t,” I whispered back, completely forgetting my promise to myself that I wouldn’t risk giving my identity away. I didn’t care if he knew who I was anymore. Actually, I wanted him to know, just like I wanted to know who he was. I wanted him to ask me out, to say that we should do this again sometime. I wanted him to want me the way I wanted him.
He ran his thumb under my chin, tilting my head up slightly. I could just imagine what it would be like if we had the lights on in here. Did he have brown eyes or blue? Would they darken as he looked into mine, wishing he could have me forever? I didn’t have long to ruminate on my imaginings before his lips were pressed against mine again, softer this time, but no less intimate.
Could you fall in love with someone based only on a kiss in the dark?
“I’m positive I’ve never kissed you before,” he whispered the next time we pulled away.
“Oh, yeah?” I asked. I didn’t pull my arms away from him, even though I knew we probably didn’t have much longer together. It would feel too weird to speak into the dark like that, without any sense of where the other person was. “Why’s that?”
“Because I’m positive I would have remembered it.”
