I was tempted to suggest to Charlie that this would be what would annoy Courtney the most. She seemed so angry back at the pool when she thought that Charlie and I might like each other in any capacity—how fun would it be to make her feel like that all the time? It was probably a bad idea, considering she still was my boss, but it was tempting nonetheless. I’d seen the way Violet and Jaxon effortlessly fooled everyone into thinking they were a couple for a few weeks, so I knew it was possible. Could Charlie and I manage to pull that off?
Of course we’d have to somehow fake it at work while also not letting it seep into our real life at all since we couldn’t risk Matthew finding out about it. Something told me that he wouldn’t approve of even a fake relationship. That wasn’t exactly heeding his warning about staying away from his friends. At that point, I might as well have given in and actually started dating him for a few weeks. And I wasn’t willing to risk that either. No, we would just have to find some other way to annoy Courtney.
“I don’t know,” I said. I obviously couldn’t tell him what I’d been thinking; he would think I was crazy. “Guess I’m just thinking out loud.”
Charlie hummed in response, then glanced at me. “You’re shivering.”
“What?”
“You’re shivering,” Charlie repeated.
“No, I’m not,” I said, but then a big shiver ran down my spine, and I couldn’t really hide it. “I mean, I’m fine. The air conditioning is just a little cold for me.”
“I’ll turn it off,” Charlie said immediately.
“No, it’s fine,” I insisted. “I don’t mind.”
“Then…” He sighed and tried to reach into the backseat while also keeping his eyes on the road. “Here.”
He grabbed something and tossed it to me. It took me a second to realize it was his hoodie.
“Your sweater?” I asked.
“You’re cold,” he said simply.
“Yeah, but...” I trailed off because there wasn’t any reason for me to give about why I couldn’t borrow his sweater other than, “I still feel a little weird about the fact that I have a super mega crush on you, and you’re giving me your sweater feels like something a boyfriend would do, and I don’t know how I feel about that.” “Thanks.”
I slipped the sweater on and pulled the hood over my wet hair, immediately feeling a reprieve from the cold air blasting in the car. The sweater was a little too big, and the arms of it went past my hands, but I didn’t mind at all. It was warm and fuzzy, and even though I previously wouldn’t have said that Charlie smelled like anything in particular, I knew that this sweater smelled just like him.
“It looks better on you than it does on me,” Charlie said.
“I wouldn’t say that...” I said. I pulled down the sun visor so I could see myself in the mirror and jokingly studied myself in it. The sweater was a pretty basic high school sweater, but the navy blue color contrasted nicely with my light hair and I thought it looked pretty good. If he didn’t ask for it back, I wasn’t entirely opposed to keeping it for myself. His high school had much better colors than mine, in my opinion. “Okay, I take it back, it does.”
Charlie laughed. “So modest.”
“Hey, if you’re telling the truth, wouldn’t it be wrong for me to deny it? I look phenomenal.”
“Yeah,” Charlie said. “You do.”
As we stopped at a red light, Charlie’s gaze lingered on me for a second too long. Warmth spread through my heart at the thought that he found me so pretty he just wanted to look atme for that long. It probably wasn’t even what he was thinking at all, but I liked to imagine that it was. After all, even though I knew I had to pretend it hadn’t happened, he had kissed me before. Even if he hadn’t known it was me in the closet that day, something had drawn him in and made him kiss me over and over again. Was it really so crazy to think that even if he had seen it was me, he would have chosen to do it anyway?
I ran my thumb along the back of my phone case, remembering the paper that was inside of it. I’d given myself two months to tell him, but would it be better to just do it now? To rip off the band-aid, so to speak. I stared out the window as I imagined how it would go. I would tell him that it was me, that I was the girl he said gave him the best kiss of his life. He probably wouldn’t believe me at first, but I could convince him. Maybe I would show him the paper—or would he find it creepy that I’d held onto it for so long? I liked to think that he would find it as romantic as I did, but I guess I couldn’t blame him if it were the other way around. But if he did find it romantic… would he kiss me again to relive the experience? Would he tell me that he had secretly loved me all this time, the same way I had loved him?
Or would he think that it was some stupid, childish crush?
The sobering thought pulled me out of my daydream. I pressed my lips together tightly like I was physically stopping myself from saying anything. I couldn’t say it, not now. I couldn’t risk rejection like that, especially at the beginning of the summer. It would have to wait.
We got to my house way too soon for my liking. If I had my way, the two of us would have stayed in that car forever without our real responsibilities forcing their way in.
“Thanks for the ride,” I said. I picked up my stuff and put my hand on the door like I was going to climb out, but I lingered for a minute.
“No worries. I can drive you home every day if you need.” He paused. “And pick you up, for that matter. If you need.”
“I think I’m driving with Violet in the mornings,” I said. I didn’t mention that the person driving us was her boyfriend, who was coming from the same place as Charlie anyway. “But I’d appreciate the rides home. If you don’t mind, I mean. I know it’s not really on your way.”
Violet’s work ended earlier than mine, not to mention all the extra time I had to spend cleaning up the pool and getting changed. She’d offered to hang back every day to wait for me, but I couldn’t ask her to do that.
“It’s barely out of the way,” Charlie said. “But even if it was that much of an inconvenience, I wouldn’t mind.”
