I’d been a burden long enough, and I realized my fears were probably coming true: he was getting sick of taking care of me. “I’ll be in shortly.”
He hesitated, then stepped out and closed the door. The moment he did, my head fell back against the seat, and I willed my hands to open, but they refused. My legs were as hard as iron and refusing to move, and taking long, deep breaths and trying to relax the way I was taught in PT wasn’t helping.
God, I was going to be stuck out here all night.
I was going to be?—
If I’d had the ability, I would have jumped out of my seat when the door wrenched open and Nash loomed over me. His eyes were narrowed as he stared at my clenched hands in my lap.
“I knew it.”
I swallowed heavily. My tongue felt a little thick and the world began to rock as nystagmus kicked in. This was going to be a bad one. “Sorry.”
“Forest, I—” He stopped on a sigh, then his massive arms shoved under my legs and behind my back, lifting me into his arms. The bridal carry was better than the fireman’s carry, but I still hated feeling helpless.
There was nothing I could do, of course. Fighting him would probably bring on a seizure, and if I could avoid at least that, I’d call it a win. So I let my head flop onto his shoulder as he marched me into the house and bypassed my bedroom, setting me on the couch instead.
“Let me get your muscle relaxers.”
I couldn’t form the words to argue as he walked into the kitchen and returned a moment later with the small pill bottle and a glass of water. He knelt beside my knee and set one hand on my thigh as he held up a single small white pill.
“Open.”
It took effort to do it, but I managed to stick my tongue out, and he laid the pill in the center before bringing the water up to my lips. Swallowing was hard. With whole-body flares, it was like every muscle in my body had disconnected from my brain, and I had no control.
But I managed to choke down a few swallows and shuddered when Nash swiped water from the corner of my lips.
“Okay?”
I took a breath, then nodded.
“Do you want to sleep out here or in your bedroom?”
It took me too long to answer. So long that he stood back up, but I managed to get out, “N-neither.”
He froze and turned to look at me. “Neither?”
It took another moment before I could speak the rest of my sentence. “I don’t want…to be alone. I’m sorry. Having trouble…with words.”
His face shuttered, then softened, and he dropped beside me on the couch. I was grateful he didn’t humiliate me by taking me into his lap or anything ridiculous. It was hard enough not being in control of my own faculties, but being manhandled made it feel worse.
Instead, he lifted my legs up over his thighs and helped me twist so I could lie along the length of the couch. My calves were like hard stones under his hands, but I could feel his touch a little better now as everything started to come back online.
“I hate when it’s like this,” I whispered.
“The pain?”
I shook my head. “That stress can tip me over the edge and send me into a flare like this. I know it’s coming. I can feel it. It’s like a freight train about to crash, and I’m helpless to do anything but stand on the sidelines and watch.”
“Forest,” Nash said quietly. “This is my fault. I shouldn’t have?—”
“No.” His jaw snapped shut as I attempted to push up on my elbows. The shaking in my hands had stopped and my fingers were starting to uncurl. “You deserve to be unburdened, Nash. This isn’t fair to you. I’m going to talk to my brother.”
He let out a trembling breath and rolled his eyes up toward the ceiling. “He’s going to find out, even if we don’t tell him. I know Tameron will keep my secret, and I trust Dayton. But people around here talk.”
“I don’t want to put the burden on them either,” I told him. “I should have done this a while ago. I could have grown a fuckingspine and put my foot down about Creek babying me. Instead, I made you complicit in a lie.”
Nash was quiet for a long beat. “If we hadn’t kept it a secret, we probably wouldn’t be married. Creek would have figured out a way to get you healthcare.”
