“Trust me, you can afford it,” he said, meeting my gaze. “Okay? Put me in your phone and text me if you need a session at home, or ever have questions, or want to vent about how horrible life can be. I’m kind of the studio dad around here.”
The second instructor, who had one arm, appeared in the doorway, a lock of dark hair falling in his eyes. He walked over and set his hand on Ryan’s shoulder. “He’s not lying. We’ve been married for ten years, and he’s still spoiling me.”
I grinned widely and absently touched my wedding ring. “My—my husband.” God, it felt weird to say it like that about Nash. “He’s the same way.”
“Then we’re lucky men,” Ryan’s husband said. I glanced at his name badge. Min-jun, it read. “Also, he and I both offer sessions at home for people who are struggling to come in because of a flare or surgery, or something else. We don’t charge.”
“Oh. Well…” I bowed my head and breathed. I hated feeling like a charity case, but here, I supposed I wasn’t one. I was just one more of their potential students who might need a little extra help sometimes. Just like them. “Thank you.”
“Any time,” Min-jun said. He leaned over and kissed Ryan on the temple before looking up. “I think your husband is waiting for you.”
My eyes went wide, then I turned and realized he was talking about Dax, who was hovering in the doorway. I burst into laughter. “Oh no. We’re not… He’s not… My husband is at home. He’s my best friend.”
Dax walked up and set his arm around my shoulder. ‘Ready?’
“Should I clean up?” I said, then signed for Dax.
Ryan waved me off. “We’ve got it. I hope to see you soon, Forest.”
They definitely would. I had numbers in my phone now. A support system that felt like it was my own. And if I could do that—if I could find that within myself—maybe I’d be a person worthy of a happily ever after.
I wasn’t foolish enough to think it would be with Nash, but I was also finally allowing myself to hope that it was something I could have when all was said and done.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
NASH
I stared out the window, my mind a veritable Gordian knot of thoughts and emotions. Ever since our honeymoon, I’d been struggling with my growing feelings for Forest. Forest and I had been back from our beach getaway for two weeks now, and things between us had shifted into unfamiliar, uncertain territory.
Or maybe it was me who had changed, my previously undefined feelings for him crystallizing into something terrifyingly real during our time away. Something I wasn’t sure I was ready to face.
So I did what I always did when confronted with an emotional dilemma I didn’t know how to handle—I retreated. Oh, I still took care of Forest’s needs, still made sure he got to his appointments and had everything he required. But I stopped seeking out his company beyond what was necessary, stopped initiating the casual intimacy that had sprung up so naturally between us.
I told myself it was for the best, that I needed to maintain some distance to protect both of us. Forest was still so vulnerable, dependent on me for his medical care and financial stability. He was in such a precarious place right now, and thelast thing I wanted was to put any pressure on him or make him feel obligated to me.
But the distance between us was slowly killing me inside. I longed to pull him into my arms, to kiss away the furrow between his brows when the pain hit, to tell him how much he meant to me. How much I was falling for him, despite the unconventional start to our marriage.
And not just him. I felt like a traitor to my brothers and my friends as well. Creek most of all, but also Bean and Tameron, and of course Dayton. The ring on my finger felt like a lead weight, a constant reminder of the secrets I was keeping from the people closest to me. I stared at it, twisting the simple gold band around my finger as I tried to find a way out of this mess.
My phone buzzed with a reminder about the upcoming work party, the annual First Responders Barbecue. Partners and kids were invited, a chance for everyone to meet each other’s families. If I didn’t bring Forest, it would definitely raise some eyebrows since I had officially listed him as my spouse and put him on my insurance.
The challenge, of course, was Dayton. Guilt slammed into me like a massive wave breaking in the surf, threatening to drown me. Dayton had no idea, and I needed to tell him because sooner or later, he’d find out through the proverbial office gossip. Probably sooner rather than later. And if Dayton found out, so would Tameron. The good news—at least for now—was that Dayton couldn’t make it to the barbecue, which meant Tameron wouldn’t be there either.
I debated internally for a while before finally broaching the subject with Forest over dinner. “So, there’s this party at work next weekend. Families are invited, and I was thinking…maybe we should go together?”
Forest looked up from his plate, surprise evident on his face. “You want me to go with you? To the party?”
I nodded, trying to gauge his reaction. “Yeah. I mean, you’re officially listed as my spouse now, so people will expect me to bring you.” I hesitated, then added, “But if you’re not feeling up to it, I completely understand.”
His brow furrowed and he absently rubbed at his left hand, which had started to curl inward, a sure sign his muscles were spasming again. “Won’t people ask questions though? Like how we met and stuff?”
“Probably,” I admitted. “But we can come up with a story. Something close to the truth, but leaving out the more…unconventional details.”
“What about Dayton and Tameron?”
I exhaled slowly. “Dayton isn’t coming. He has some family thing he can’t get out of. So that means Tameron won’t be there either.”
Relief flickered across Forest’s features before he schooled his expression. “Okay. That’s good, I guess. Gives us a little more time before we have to tell them.”
