His face did something complicated, then he glanced over his shoulder toward my bedroom door before letting out a soft breath. Without a word, he rolled to the side, snagging a discarded T-shirt from the floor. With careful, tender motions, he wiped up the mess I’d left behind, then helped get my sweats back over my hips.
It took more strength on his end to get me back up onto my pillows, but eventually, he was slipping between the sheets next to me. We didn’t touch, but I could feel his warmth, and his presence made me feel safe.
His head rolled toward me, and for a moment, I thought he might ask me to marry him again. Instead, he licked his lips and murmured just loud enough for me to hear, “Goodnight, Forest.”
I couldn’t manage another word, so I nodded, and he smiled at me, looking content before turning his face away and closing his eyes.
Would it be like this if we were married?
I doubted it, but it was a nice little fantasy to have anyway.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
NASH
This was gonna suck.
I usually loved hanging out with Creek, Bean, and Tameron, but today, it was about the last thing I wanted to do. Well, maybe not the literal last thing because filing taxes surely ranked lower, or maybe cleaning the toilet, but still. Very much not what I wanted when there was so much I wanted to tell them, but couldn’t.
About Forest being sick.
About Forest needing financial assistance.
Though definitely not about me offering to marry him, and even less about Forest needingotherhelp and me providing it.
Other help. I almost snorted at my own understatement. Help? Was that really what I was gonna call it, even to myself? Come on, couldn’t I at least be honest with myself?
I’d jacked him off. Given him a hand job. Had helped him achieve the orgasm he’d been unable to make happen on his own.
Except all of those sounded way too clinical, crude, or altruistic. Like it had been a hookup between strangers, and it hadn’t been like that. Or like I had helped Forest out of thegoodness of my heart, which was so far from the truth it might as well be on a different continent.
I’d helped him because he’d been the sexiest man I’d ever seen in my life. Even standing there trembling, with those big, sad eyes, frustration painted all over his face, he’d been so goddamn beautiful. And when I’d touched him, truly touched him for the first time…
Fireworks had gone off. He might’ve been the one experiencing the pleasure, but I’d seen stars too, though of a different kind. It had been heaven to touch him, to wrap my hand around him, and…
Fuuuuuck, my hard-on was back with a vengeance for, like, the fifth time or so today. And that was after I’d jacked myself off hard—twice—this morning to the sweet memories of last night.
The look on his face as he’d surrendered to the pleasure, his cheeks all rosy, his eyes glassy with lust, and those pouty lips wet from licking them. It had taken everything not to kiss him, not to make it more than he wanted me to. And he’d been in no position to give consent for anything else, too frustrated.
I recognized sexual desperation when I saw it. Hell, I’d been there myself more times than I could count. Being in the Army meant little privacy, and even though I’d become an expert in the quickest jack-off sessions in the world out of necessity, there were still plenty of times when that hadn’t been possible. Or when I’d been so on edge that a quick release simply hadn’t been enough.
Like right now. Every time I thought of Forest’s face as he came, of the utter relief and pleasure and gratitude, of how hot he’d looked, how debauched, I grew hard all over again. I’d probably need another two orgasms to keep myself in check, but alas, I didn’t have the time. We were meeting at Creek’s today, and I was one block away.
The thought of facing Creek and not being able to tell him about his brother brought a heavy feeling to my stomach. I hated lying to him, and yes, lying by omission was still lying.
I understood why Forest didn’t want me to tell Creek. He wasn’t wrong that Creek would go all big brother on his ass and basically take over. That was how Creek operated, though he did it out of love.
So yes, I would respect Forest’s decision, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. Even less now that we were…involved. Christ, if Creek knew I’d had my hand on his little brother’s cock…
I winced. Nothing good could come from telling Creek that.
And if he ever found out I’d deliberately hid Forest’s illness from him, he’d kill me with his bare hands. Or at least, he’d try to, and I wasn’t too sure I could still take him. He was in better shape than I was right now, even with a missing limb, and younger too.
The good news was that those thoughts had taken care of my erection. Silver lining and all that.
I blew out a long sigh as I whipped my truck into a parking spot, happy I’d found one relatively close to Creek’s place. It was still two blocks away, but in this neighborhood, that was nothing. I’d hung out with him on a Sunday afternoon once and had to park a mile away.
Tameron got out of his car across the street at the same time I did, and I waved to get his attention since shouting would be useless. His face lit up when he saw me, and something inside me stirred. These guys meant so fucking much to me. I know they often saw me as their big brother, as the guy who had helped them get back on their feet, but they had saved me too.
