CHAPTER ONE
NASH
“That’s the last of it.”
Tameron stacked the box he’d just taped shut on top of the previous two and put down the tape dispenser. His room was empty now, save those three boxes, and the sight made my chest so tight I could barely breathe.
I swallowed, determined to keep that stupid smile on my face as I looked at Tameron and signed at the same time. “Perfect.”
Tameron’s eyes softened, as if he saw through my façade. “Nash, I’m s?—”
“Don’t be sorry. You’re moving in with Dayton, ready to start the next phase of your life. That’s cause for celebration.”
I wasn’t lying. As soon as I had picked up on the sparks between Dayton—I’d met him in my job as an EMT, and he and I had become close friends—and Tameron, I’d been rooting for them. They were perfect for each other, Dayton bringing out sides of Tameron’s character that I’d never seen before. Tameron was happy. Truly, deeply happy, which was a state I never thought he’d achieve.
He put his hand on my shoulder, in itself proof of how much Dayton had changed him. Tameron was, to put it mildly, not the touchy-feely type. “It’s okay to be sad.”
Case in point.
“I know, but I’m fine.”
Those eyes narrowed. “You’re not fine.”
Dammit, had Dayton said something? As happy as I was for the two of them, it did suck that I had sort of lost a friend…and a housemate. A brother. Because that was what Tameron, Bean, and Creek felt like. Little brothers. Brothers I’d shared a home with for two years, and who were now leaving the nest, Tameron being the last of them.
And my friendship with Dayton would never be the same again either. Of course we were still friends, but we’d both been single and had been able to spend a lot of time together, and now he had Tameron. I didn’t begrudge Dayton his happiness either because god knew the man was head-over-heels for Tameron, but it did leave me feeling a little sorry for myself at times.
Not that I would ever tell him that. Or Tameron. They had enough on their plates and didn’t need to worry about me.
I crossed my arms. “What makes you think I’m not fine?”
Tameron rolled his eyes. “I know you. You’re not fine. You’re sad and hurting, but also determined to put on a brave face so we won’t feel guilty. You can cut the crap, Top, because we do feel guilty. All of us do.”
Top.He’d called me by the old nickname the guys had given me back in the Army, when I’d been a first sergeant and their NCO. And yes, the double entendre of that name, what with me being gay, hadn’t escaped our attention. It had made for a plethora of jokes and been a cause for laughter, which had been more than a little welcome in the often bleak reality of what we did. “Yes, I’m sad, but that doesn’t mean I’m not fine. I’m always fine.”
“Jesus fuck, Nash, you’re killing me here.” Tameron unexpectedly pulled me into a tight hug, which was so rare that I froze for a moment before hugging him back. And when he heldon and didn’t let go, I had no choice but to continue holding him, fighting to keep all those pesky emotions at bay.
When he finally let go, his eyes were a tad moist. “Thank you for everything.” When I opened my mouth to say he didn’t need to thank me, he cut me off with a hand gesture. “Yes, I do need to thank you. If not for you, then for me. I wouldn’t be where I am today without you, and that needs to be said.”
I guessed he wasn’t gonna let this one go, so I pasted on another smile. “You’re welcome.”
The platitude was damn near rotting my teeth with its sugary sweetness, but whatever.
“Maybe you’ll have time for yourself now,” he said. “Get your dick sucked by some cute twink.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “What makes you think that’s my type?”
Tameron snorted. “The lies we tell ourselves…”
What the hell was that supposed to mean? I’d had my fair share of hookups, but I’d never done them here where the boys could see. Not that I was in any way ashamed of who I was and what I did, but a man deserved some modicum of privacy, right? God knew I wouldn’t hear the end of it if they ever saw a guy leave my bedroom. “I have no idea what you mean.”
Tameron studied me for a moment more, then shrugged. “Yeah, I guess not.”
He grunted as he lifted the three boxes, but I knew better than to offer help. He wouldn’t accept it anyway, and the offer would only piss him off. I walked with him as he made his way to the front door, looking over his shoulder one last time as if he were saying goodbye to the house. “Do you need the key back?” he asked.
“Keep it. This will always be a home for you.”
I meant that. Not that I had any doubt about his relationship with Dayton, as those two were the real thing, but still. Everyone needed a safe space sometimes.
