He’d fallen asleep, his hair fanning out over the pillow. His cheeks were still flushed, his lips red and swollen from all our kisses. He looked like he’d had sex, and this strange pride filled me. I’d made him feel like that. I’d been the one who’d given him what he needed, who’d been able to make him come that hard.
And most of all, I’d been able to push away his sadness and make him feel good. He might still be hurting tomorrow, but at least for now, he was quietly asleep, looking peaceful.
I snuggled under the covers, and as soon as I wrapped my arms around Heath, he turned to me in his sleep and put his head on my shoulder.
I’d always thought I’d never feel as close to anyone as I did to my brothers-in-arms. Nash, Tameron, Bean, and I had shared everything, and it had formed a bond between us nothing could ever break. Up until now, that had been the closest I’d ever been with another human being.
As always, Heath was different. Everything about him was different. Everything about us was different. And our connection was so real, so pure, so special.
I didn’t even have words for it. All I knew was I wanted to be with him, around him, against him, inside him because somehow, my heart had attached itself to Heath’s.
Holy fuck. I’d fallen in love with him.
And instead of being terrified, this massive joy filled me.
I loved him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
HEATH
“I’m gonna wipe that goddamn smug smile off your face.”
Mark’s voice was pissed, but nothing could ruin my joy. It wasn’t just the fact that I’d been able to weasel my way out of prom this year, though that was what he was pissed about since he had to take my place. In truth, I was just…happy. It was a weird sensation, being happy for no reason.
It was different.
A lot of it had to do with finally finding the courage to cut my family off because I no longer felt that quiet anxiety hanging out at the base of my spine, waiting for them to call, text, or show up. I no longer spent long hours in my own head, composing hypothetical arguments defending myself and my choices.
But there was more to it. There was also Creek, who had gone from the man I couldn’t stand to the man I couldn’t get enough of. I was sore for days after letting him inside me, and while it made walking around class even more difficult than the dull throbbing—and sharp phantom nerve pain— in my leg, at least I had an excuse to use a cane. And frankly, feeling the gentle ache was a reminder of him.
I wanted more. But not just of his body. I wanted to lie with him for hours and just bask. I wanted to know everything abouthim. I wanted to spend long weekends together, where I learned his annoying little habits. I wanted to fight over wet towels on the floor and mismatched socks coming out of the dryer.
“Stop,” Mark demanded.
I shrugged and tapped my cane tip on the floor twice. “Why? I’m feeling so good right now.”
“You look good, and I think I hate it,” Mark said. I burst into laughter, which only seemed to piss him off more. “I never thought you’d be worse when you weren’t a miserable bastard. You being in love is insufferable.”
“Insufferable. Look at you, Coach, using your big SAT words.” I reached over and pinched his cheek. And then his words hit me like a freight train.
In love.
And it wasn’t like I hadn’t considered that I was in love with Creek. I knew I’d been testing those words to myself for a while now. But I hadn’t realized it was obvious to everyone else.
For a moment, I panicked. Had Creek noticed? I mean, obviously, the guy had noticed I was wild about him, but I wanted to ease him into the idea. The man had only just come out as bi, and he was still dealing with the trauma of losing so much of his own life.
I didn’t want to dump this on him too.
Mark groaned and clapped me on the shoulder. “Shit. I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean to be a dick.”
“You always mean to be a dick,” I countered. “But it’s fine.”
I glanced at the wall clock, and my stomach squirmed. Just a few more minutes, and then I was free. I was almost as antsy as I was when I was going to see Creek—which I was, but not until later.
Kaleo and I were meeting up and heading to Mavericks Beach for some actual waves now that I could stand on a board without falling off immediately. The wave forecast was callingfor decent-sized swells without being the nine-footers that probably would have destroyed me this soon after getting back in the water. But I was ready for more than I had been doing.
I was just a little nervous.
