“And you’re not going to make a big deal out of this?”
“Not if you don’t want me to. But we’re friends, Heath. You’re one of my best friends. I’ve got your back outside of work, okay? Ride or die.”
I stuck my fist out for him to knock his knuckles against mine, but Kent dragged me into a hug instead. I was unsteady on my leg from all the tension of the day, but it was easy to fold into his embrace and just let myself be held by someone who cared.
It only really highlighted how starved I was for this, and though Kent wasn’t the man I wanted soothing these wounds, it was something.
“Where are you headed?” he asked once I pulled back.
I rubbed the back of my neck and knew exactly where I needed to be. “Marshall’s.”
Kent’s eyes narrowed. “Have you done that climb to the beach yet?”
“No, but I’ve got my hiking crutches, and I just…I need it, okay?”
“Don’t kill yourself,” Kent warned. “Or hurt yourself.”
“No promises, but I’ll do my best.” I shot him a fake salute, then tossed cash and a tip on the counter for Zayd before hurrying toward the door, determined to let the ocean calm some of the pain that wouldn’t let me go.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CREEK
I had fucked up, and Nash was gonna kill me…if Kent didn’t get to me first. Or Heath himself. Really, at this point, it was a toss-up who’d get the honors, but someone was gonna separate my head from my body, and rightly so. What I had done was unbelievable. Unforgivable.
I buried my head in my hands, still sitting in my car. How could I have been this stupid?
I’d broken the first rule of kissing: consent.
And as much as I wanted to claim temporary insanity, that shit would not fly, least of all with Nash. He knew the grip I had on my temper and that I’d never allow myself to lose it.
Except I had. Sort of.
Shit.
Heath had driven me up the wall, but that was still no excuse. Nor was the fact that it had truly felt like a choice between wringing his neck or kissing him. Violence would’ve been better than this.
Well, not really, but what else could I tell myself to make me feel better?
Nothing. I had nothing.
The truth was Ihadlost control, and I’d done something I would regret for the rest of my life. Not the kiss in itself. Yeah, the urge to kiss Heath was new, and once I’d calmed down a bit, I’d need some time to figure out if I was bi-curious or bisexual. But I wasn’t all tied up in knots because I’d kissed a man or even because I’d kissed Heath.
No, it was because I would always regret kissing him without his permission. Without asking him first. Without even nonverbally checking if he was okay with it.
Which, obviously, he hadn’t been. If he hadn’t hated my guts before, he sure as fuck did now, and I deserved every ounce of his wrath.
A knock on the window made me jump in my seat. Nash.
I rolled down the window. “Jesus Christ, you scared the crap out of me.”
He clicked his tongue. “Not a good thing that I was able to sneak up on you like that without even trying to.”
I held up my hands. “Don’t. Not right now.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I fucked up. I fucked up bad, and I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself.”
