So why don’t I believe him? What’s stopping me?
“Run, hellcat. Run and see how far I let you get this time,” he dares, his tone curling at the end, dripping with promise.
Inhaling, I release him and let my hands fall between us. “I’m not running.”
“Looks like it.”
“I just need . . .” I can’t finish my statement because I don’t fucking know what I need right now.
Everything we’ve been doing these last few weeks has led to this. It isn’t sudden. I’ve just been offered a future with him on a silver platter, and I’m hesitating to take it. The roles have reversed, but that’s not something I’ve ever wanted. My head’s a jumbled mess so full of that irritating voice and its pathetic advice that I can’t eventhink.
A muscle twitches in his jaw. The shadows from the fire dance across the sharp lines of his jaw and slightly crooked nose. A spark lands on his shoulder, singeing the fabric of his shirt before I flick it away. Suddenly, my weight feels too heavy on his lap. There’s a pressure building between where our chests brush that forces me back, creating a distance that turns my stomach upside down.
I gasp when his hand shoots forward and takes me by the side of my throat. It’s hardly a ghost of a touch, but I lean into it completely, allowing him to tug me close once more. I taste his breath when he brings his lips to the corner of my mouth.
“Go, then. Get whatever answers you need, but when I find you again, you need to know what you want. No more games. We’re all in or all out. Your time starts now.”
37
TWENTY-ONE YEARS OLD
ROWE
“Stop lookingfor loopholes and answer my question,” Shade slurs, flinging a sunflower seed into my lap.
I palm my red plastic cup and reluctantly give in to his love of this stupid fucking game. “If you’re that desperate to know my sex status, you can ask your mom.”
“That goes for me too,” Ash joins in, his eyes glassy with a buzz that we’re all feeling.
“Do we have to ask each other such crude questions?”
Ash turns to stare at Lacey once she’s finished speaking, and I catch the twitch of his fingers where they rest between them. There’s a thick plaid blanket beneath them, protecting their asses from the grass still wet from the rain a few hours ago. The fire in the centre of our group is raging a bit too high. Shade starting it with gasoline probably wasn’t the smartest idea, but Tilly dared him too, and he’s allergic to denying a dare.
“Come on, Lace. Don’t be a prude. We’re not kids anymore,” Tilly taunts from her place on the picnic table.
She’s got her bare legs crossed over the edge of it, her brown boots swaying. The slight shimmy of her shoulders as shemoves to the music playing from the speaker beside Shade is accompanied by the hum of her voice. The notes are all off, but she doesn’t let that stop her. I take a long swig of my beer and eye the keg behind Ash and Lacey.
I told Shade it was fucking dramatic to buy one for some small-ass party with the five of us, but he declared it a celebration. I’m not sure Tilly agrees that her breakup is cause for one, but she’s seemed to be enjoying the forever-flowing beer tap. All thoughts of that idiot Ezra seem to be non-existent right now.
It’s a good thing.
That guy was no good for her. I saw the annoyance that flooded his entire demeanour every time she’d make a joke or suggest doing something that wasn’t rotting away watching him play video games. She hadn’t come to the ranch in a while, and when I mentioned Diesel missing her, he blew up on her in front of everyone. I would have knocked his teeth out if she hadn’t told me to chill out.
He’s gone, I remind myself when I start to grow restless.
“If you want to ask something else, then go for it,” Shade says, pointing at Lacey with one of his freshly tattooed fingers. The letterAis red and raised, but still somehow perfect, considering he did it himself. “Just don’t ask either of us what our favourite colours are. You already know mine’s red.”
The soft-hearted girl leans forward over her bent knees and flicks a slightly cautious glance in Tilly’s direction. “Okay . . . when did you lose your virginity?”
“Woah, woah, woah. I thought you weren’t into sexual questions like that!” Ash blubbers, crinkling his face in disgust before waving a weak hand in Tilly’s direction. “I don’t want to know that. I’m done with this game.”
“What?” Lacey groans, palming her face. “Fine! Whatever. I don’t get these rules of yours. Tilly, if you could be any flower, what would it be?”
Shade’s already up and out of his chair before she gets to finish. He shakes his head, features slanting in dramatic disappointment as he refills his cup with beer and snags a glass bottle from the cooler beside it. The label’s peeling from being soaked in the melted ice for so long, but I recognize the liquor by the colour and the knowledge that Shade hates tequila.
“You are officially kicked out of the game, Lacey. You suck balls at it.”
He twists off the lid of the vodka bottle and downs more than a shot’s worth before collapsing back in his camping chair.
