A pause. “Not specifically. I’ve got a feeling it has to do with why she refused to listen to any of us when we talked about you and why you were so dead set on pretending you didn’t exist while she was away.”
“She told me I wasn’t just a friend to her. Sent all her feelings to me in a letter when she got back from her trip to Nova Scotia, and I freaked. Wrote her back a month later, telling her she was wrong and that she mistook me caring about my best friend’s twin as some sort of romantic connection.”
“So, you were just being yourself, then.”
I scoff a laugh so rough it grates. “Yeah, guess so.”
“That explains why she got so damn testy when it came to you. Right before she moved away, there was this change in her that freaked most of us out. She wasn’t just her usual blunt, take-no-shit girl, but this . . . angry woman who couldn’t get out of this town—this province—fast enough.”
My middle tightens. “You should tell me to back off or whatever usual protective brother bullshit is used in these situations. Fuck knows I’m not good for her.”
“As opposed toEthan?”
My jaw snaps shut before I pry it open around sharp words. “Ex-husband is just fine. You don’t need to say his name.”
Surprise travels across his expression before it evens out. “My point still stands. I’m not in the habit of telling Tilly who she can and can’t be with. We’re far too old for that playground bullshit. I love my sister, and I trust her, even if she has a habit of making questionable choices, like moving across the country and marrying a douchebag.”
“She shouldn’t have done that. It’s my fault that she did.”
“You’re far off, Rowe. Nobody makes Tilly do anything. You may have hurt her with what you said in that letter, but she made every one of her choices on her own.”
“There’s a lot of shit in the past, Ash.”
He jostles a shoulder. “Leave it there. Neither of you are going to forget it, but continuing to tug it into the future is going to have you repeating the same mistakes.”
“You’ve always been the level-headed one of us.”
“Somebody has to be. You could take a lesson or two from me.”
“I wouldn’t go that far. You’re too passive sometimes,” I say, eyeing the tents peeking through the tree branches.
“We’re not going there today.”
“Do you have plans to ever head in that direction? Seems like you’re always cutting yourself off at the roots with her before they can take.”
Ash pushes away from the tree trunk and brushes off his back before flipping his hat around again. “Let’s head back before Shade sets his tent on fire and winds up snuggled between you and Tilly tonight.”
“Fuck off.”
He barks a laugh and reaches out with a hand to shove the back of my head. I scowl at him, flattening my hat back down.
His expression sobers, and he stares right at me while he says, “Don’t hurt her again, Rowe. I wouldn’t win a physical fight between the two of us, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still punish you for it.”
“I’m trying.”
And I’ve never meant two words more in my life.
36
TILLY
June 1st
Hey,
I don’t know where to start. I’ve thought a lot about this and spent too much time trying to figure out how to phrase what I need to say.
You look happy in these photos. Your hair is lighter, too. And that stud isn’t in your nose. Did you take it out and let the hole close? Never mind. It doesn’t matter.
