Whether it was a decade ago or today, she’s still the same person deep down. Everything I learn about her in the present solidifies that.
Her nails cut into my thighs, the pain blooming at the same time I spit a string of unintelligible words into her pussyand snap my hips. She spasms against my tongue, her thighs clenching tight against the sides of my face as I spray cum across the back of her throat.
Silence falls. She rises off my dick, and I hold her hips while she lifts off my face. I keep her beneath my stare as she climbs off my body and collapses on the bed beside me.
“Three in one night is a record for me,” she says.
I scoff a laugh and tuck an arm beneath my head, continuing to watch her. “Could try for a fourth if you want.”
“Not a chance.”
“Come back up here, then,” I demand softly.
“Rowe Carrigan wants to cuddle?”
“Fuck off. That’s what we’ve been doing this whole time. Don’t act like it’s a surprise now.”
She winks and comes to lie at my side. “Maybe I just wanted to hear you say it.”
Taking in how far she is from me, I scowl and haul her onto my body. And for once, there isn’t a single tease or dig that falls from her mouth at the way I hold her like I’m scared she’s going to disappear.
Because yeah, that’s exactly what I am. And from the way she clings to me just as tightly, I’d say she’s fearing the same thing.
30
TILLY
January 3rd
Tilly,
Merry Late Christmas.
Please don’t be mad at me. I couldn’t see you. Not here.
I heard about the cookies you brought. Fuck, I can’t imagine you baking. Is that something you do now, or did your mom bake them? If she did, I already know you’d have tried to lie about it. The thought was there, hellcat.
To make it up to you, I sent Ash a letter. He should have gotten it by now. Do you forgive me?
If you do, tell me about Diesel. I miss him so fucking much. He hates the snow. Has he been riding fine? I had all these plans for the new saddle I was gonna get for himthis Christmas. That won’t be happening anytime soon. I doubt I’ll remember how to use a debit card by the time I’m out of here.
I’ll make everything up to you, Tilly. I swear. Just . . . don’t try to come see me again, okay? This isn’t a place for you.
I still miss you. My decision doesn’t change that.
Rowe
The first thingI smell when I wake up is burnt coffee.
Turning over on a bed that feels a lot more comfortable than mine, I blink to try and wet my dry eyes. The vaulted wood ceiling is absolutely not the same as the acoustic tiles from my trailer.
I tug on the heavy wool blanket and bring it up to my nose, inhaling. Rowe’s cologne is imbedded in the thick threads, and I take another breath, trying to use it to wake me up. All it does is make me want to stay curled up here instead of getting up.
The cabin is silent this morning. There’s not so much as a creak of the floorboards as I hide from my responsibilities for a few more minutes. It’s almost a chore to sit up and toss my legs over the mattress. The note I see resting on the nightstand sends a jolt through my system.
Meet me at the pen when you wake up. Don’t sleep too long, hellcat.
The sloppy writing drags me right back to reading his letters all those years ago. He hasn’t changed it at all. If anything, it’sgotten worse. Yet I still fold the note in half and bring it with me into the bathroom.
