My lips part around a dark grin. I slip my fingers free and settle back on my knees. Her throat strains around a silent plea, and I fill mine with her cum.
28
TILLY
“Shit—Rowe, I swear . . .”I let the words stop when he curls his fingers again, tapping roughly against my G-spot like he’s mad he can find it so easily. “I can’t!”
“You can, and you will.”
He spits on me again, then swirls the moisture around my clit. His tongue lashes against it, and I push into the mattress, trying to find space.I’m so sensitive.My head is fuzzy with both the want for more and the need to take a break. Yet I can’t tell him to stop. Won’t shove him off me.
My toes curl into the air as he keeps his fingers deep and continues his assault on my sweet spot, his eyes blazing with the high of knowing he’s turning me inside out. I’m about to eat my taunting words. This stupid deal I made was reckless, and now I’m paying for it.
“You’re almost there. I can feel it. Get out of your head and feel, hellcat. You like this, don’t you?”
He glides that godforsaken third finger back inside of me and starts thrusting all of them again, continuing to tap them against my front wall. Faster and faster, he moves until I give up thefight and grind against him. The sounds of how aroused I am don’t faze me anymore. Let him hear. We’re too far gone now for that to embarrass me.
His tongue abandons my clit and drifts to circle his fingers and the stretch of me around them. He groans a low, dirty sound that moves like fingertips dragging up and down my body.
“Rowe,” I warn, my voice shaking and dipping. “I?—”
“Yeah, you fucking are. I’m right here. Let go for me, Tilly. I want to see what I do to you. Need to hear you scream.”
A cry tears through my chest, rattling me down to the bones. I grip the bedding and yank as my muscles seize, keeping his body locked between my thighs. The firm press of his palm against my cheek draws me back. I try not to fixate on the way he sucks his fingers clean before bringing them to hold my chin.
“What did you mean when you said you didn’t want to be careful anymore? Is that the life you’d made for yourself all these years? A careful one?”
I can do nothing but nod, sinking into the bed. “Ethan was safe. Easy. I thought that meant he’d be loyal too.”
“And he wasn’t?”
“No.” Avoiding seeing his reaction, I close my eyes. “He got his assistant pregnant.”
“I’m . . . sorry.”
“You don’t have to be. I should have known that something like that was going to happen. I spent too many years of my life trying to dull myself down for him and the people I’d found myself surrounded by. Being accepted was so fucking important to me while I was over there. I let it change me, and it all became a bad joke in the end. Turns out that I wastooboring for a guy named Ethan. I should have done everything differently. If I’d thought before acting, the time I was gone wouldn’t feel so wasted.”
A gruff laugh blows across my mouth before he captures it in a soft kiss. It takes me a beat to respond. It’s been a long time since I’ve been kissed like this. Our lips move lazily, almost sloppy in their lack of urgency. His shirt bunches beneath my fingers when I pull him further up my body.
“Did you love him?”
I hardly hear the question. When it registers, I glide my hand up beneath his shirt and nod. I can feel every muscle in his back contract and then relax. He stays where he is, proving just how serious he is about us talking about this.
“I wouldn’t have married him if I hadn’t at one point.”
A heavier question hangs between us, untouched. It’s taunting, and I consider being the one to mention it before slapping the idea away. I focus on the slow glide of his tongue across my bottom lip instead. The gentleness is such a hard contrast from a few moments ago. It’s like this right here is all he wants.
“If you had gotten my letter, would you have stayed?”
“Stayed?”
Our lips are slow to separate. He hovers above me, eyes open and a stormy grey colour. The steady stroke of his knuckle along my jaw has me ready to answer just about every single question he’s got locked away in that thick head of his.
“You met your ex-husband when we weren’t speaking, and you were upset with me,” he says gruffly, scowling slightly. “If things hadn’t taken that turn, would you have still moved away with him, or would you have stayed until I was out?”
Intended or not, I feel the blow of his words behind my ribs. The guilt I’ve always felt for not being here for him when he was released from prison will stay with me forever.
“I don’t know. I’d like to think that I would have stayed. Everything would have been different if you hadn’t gone away. I didn’t only leave because I met Ethan, Rowe. When I took thetrip out East that I wrote to you about . . . I found a peace that I’d forgotten existed. Sure, I met him too, but it was more than that. I loved Oak Point, yet being here was killing me slowly. My parents were constantly asking if I was okay, and Ash was so goddamn sad all the time. Lacey was there for him back then because I couldn’t be, and I let her slip away because of it. Ash was missing you, but so was I. It wasn’t . . . I needed a fresh start.”
