There’s no need for him to ask me if I’m okay because I don’t pull off. The last thing I want is for him to handle me with kid gloves. Tears and spit don’t scare me.
I press a hand against his hip and glide it behind him. With my fingers digging into his ass cheek, I shift closer, encouraging him to move. He hesitates, refusing to thrust a second time. I open my eyes and let him see how badly I want him to. If I trusted myself not to take things too far, I’d put a hand between my legs to show him just how much I’m enjoying this. How unafraid I am.
“You can’t use this against me later,” he warns, opening his hands wide enough that he can hold both sides of my head with absolute control. The slight scratch of his nails against my scalp draws another pleading noise out of me. “I won’t hurt you.”
I already knew that.
He thrusts forward, forcing me to take more of him than I have been. It’s not enough to make me retch, but I do battle another gag. My fingers tremble where they’re gripping him, stroking his slick shaft in time with my mouth. Drool leaks down my chin from where my mouth’s stretched around him. I’m running hot, sweat collecting at the base of my spine.
“That’s it. So fucking messy for me,” he grunts, falling into a steady pace.
I inhale through my nose and nod. His ass tenses beneath my touch. My core is stuck to my panties, the fabric drenched and feeling too tight against me. I want them off almost as I want to feel him coming undone.
The noise that comes from my mouth doesn’t sound like me at all. It’s almost a whimper, a sound so high-pitched and pleading that I have no choice but to realize just how far gone I am right now. There’s no hope in reminding myself of anything that’s happened between us in the past. Those thingsdon’t matter, not when he’s started to move faster, his thrusts stuttering.
“Open wider, hellcat. I’m gonna wash your mouth out. You’ll take it all for me. You’ll swallow my cum and remember how I taste the next time you think about saying his name when my hands are on you.”
My eyes blow wide at the words. He jerks in my mouth, and I feel the first rope of cum splash my throat. I suck on instinct, and he pushes further inside, groaning and hissing. Swallowing, I prick his ass with my nails and squeeze my eyes shut.
With the ghost of a sigh, I drop my hands and slowly pull off him. My scalp burns, a soreness there that I didn’t feel minutes ago. It’s nothing compared to the pain in my knees. I wince, trying to stand to get off them.
Blood rushes to my head. My vision grows fuzzy for a beat before I blink through it and find a new warmth around my elbow. A tattooed hand is clutching onto me, and I look at Rowe, trying to hide my blush.
“That was reckless,” he chastises, his eyes closed off again.
“Don’t start.”
His exhale is weighted. I try to pick at the walls he’s shoved up between us, but they’re too thick. What just happened between us was a lot for me, but maybe it was more complicated for him.
“I wasn’t going to. But you’re hurt,” he says, softening his voice slightly.
“It’s not your fault. This was all my decision.”
“At least put your boots on before we go back to the truck. I’ve got a first aid kit in the back seat.”
It’s impossible not to tease him in hopes of lightening the mood. “Who knew one blowjob would have been enough to have you offering to fix up my wounds.”
“It has nothing to do with that.”
The way he says it is so . . . firm. Like just the thought of me putting those two things together offends him. My lips twitch, confirming my thoughts. Without arguing, I grab my boot from the ground and yank it on.
24
TILLY
November 15th
Hellcat,
You’re staying in the bunkhouse? I can only imagine the reaction those goddamn cowboys had to you being in their space. Make their life hell for me, Tilly. Do me a favor and remind them of what I said before I left. I’m in prison, not dead.
I’m fine. Good as new. It was more so utterly humiliated to have my ass hauled away from a guy double my size while I kicked the air like a toddler. I’ve had low moments in here, but that took the cake. I’ve got no desire to live that out again.
Tell Ash that I’ve been meaning to reply. I’ve got a million things to say to him but no clue how to write them. The only person I can seem to write to right now is you. Maybe a shrink would be able to analyze that for me. I’m too tired to try myself. Just let him know that I’m still his best friend. If he replaces me, he’s only encouraging me to come back here once I’m out.
I hope you had a good Halloween. Got pics of your costume? I really wish I was joining you for Christmas this year. Your dad smoking a turkey again?
I miss you too.
