There was a flicker of hope in his eyes, so faint it broke my heart.
I sighed. How did I put this? “Vyns… I like you. You’ve been so good to me. I honestly don’t know what my spirit is doing. I don’t know what I’m feeling half the time anymore. My life is a mess, and I don’t know which way is up. Maybe my… other bond is playing tricks? Maybe I do feel something, but I just don’t know what it feels like?”
“You’d know,” he whispered as the hope in his dazzling blue eyes wavered and faltered, fading away.
“Maybe I just need more time?”
Because I did feel… something? I think? Some faint pull to Vyns. But it wasn’t strong enough for me to call it anything.
He gave a soft, sad smile, even as his eyes dimmed. “Maybe.” Then he drew a long breath. “It doesn’t matter.Ifeel this way for you, andI can’tignore it. Even if we’re only friends, I’ll always be there for you.”
“Because your spirit demands it?”
He shrugged. “Is that so bad?”
No… no it wasn’t.
“Thank you, Vyns,” I whispered. Then I stepped in, went to my tip-toes and kissed his cheek. “I just need some space to figure things out right now, okay?”
He smiled, his hand drifting up to touch his cheek as I stepped back.
“You really are being an angel about all of this,” I finished with a wry smile.
He laughed. “I know that means something different in your world… and I’m flattered.”
I stepped in again and hugged him. Wow, he was solid. And he smelled divine, like cedar in a warm summer’s rain: natural, pure. Still, I hoped he didn’t think this was anything more than a friendly hug.
“Thank you,” I said again, against his hard-as-rock chest.
He hesitated before his arms wrapped around me, soft, gentle, cradling me.
“I don’t suppose we can go shopping one last time before you quit?” I joked… sort of. It also wasn’t a joke, since I had nothing, only the clothes on my back. One last raid of Saldrea’s fortune would be nice. Though, even if we didn’t, this week’s allowance had come in, so I’d be able to recoup a little of what I’d lost.
“She’s cut me off,” Vyns said, somber, sighing.
Ah, yeah, that figured.
“I’m going to tell Saldrea I can’t work for her anymore,” he said, sounding scared and relieved all at once.
I was glad but also terrified for him. Saldrea wouldn’t take it well, and he was losing everything he had… except for me…
Which meant… I would be all he had. He’d need me more than ever.
That hit me hard. The weight of that pressure constricting my chest.
Pressure I didn’t need.
Well, fuck.
VYNSIEL
I couldn’t figureout what terrified me more: Saldrea’s temper, or the gaping void of the unknown: what I’d do after I’d left her service.
Still, my mind was made up. I couldn’t stay with the poisoned princess any longer. I had to leave. Even if Izzy didn’t feel for me what I felt for her. The look of pained pity on her face when I’d told her about the spirit-link had shredded what little remained of my heart.
Heavens!
But it didn’t matter if her spirit didn’t sing like mine did. I was compelled to be with her, stay close to her, protect her, so that’s what I’d do. Even if… she might not be the woman I thought she was. Oh, she was still gorgeous and stunning, striking in spirit and strong in her convictions, but… if she didn’t feel what I felt, could she really understand me? Could she heal my torn-up soul the way I hoped?
