“Yes!” That much I knew for sure. Although…when she said it that way.
No, Iwasupset! I’d resigned myself to being… unlovable. Given how most men had treated me, I’d always suspected I was different and troublesome at the least. Then Kel had abandoned me and I’d known it. I’d been so sure of it. I’d been certain I was fated to be alone. I’d come to terms with living a simple life,on my own.
Only I wasn’t alone. Daz had almost always been there for me. I liked that… but now that I knewwhyhe’d been doing it… so that hopefully someday I might feel as he did… What was I to make of that?
Did I love Daz?
Yes. I did… in a special way, not like a lover. I loved his caring, his attention, his smile, his laugh, and the comfort of his presence. But having him in my bed?
Whereas Kel… I couldn’tstopthinking of him and me, half-dressed in some dark corner of Vestrea, grunting and gripping, all physical passion. But I couldn’t see him cooking my meals and doing chores around the house.
And Leo… He was the oddest of them all. I wanted him to sweep me off my feet and show me all his passion, but if he did that, he’d stop being… Leo, the upstanding gentleman.
Also, Leo was a noble and there was no way we could have anything other than a fling.
And the thought of him making my meals and cleaning the house almost made me laugh.
So yes, I was frustrated and upset, because my entire life had been turned upside down and none of it made any sense!
I said as much to Veora.
“Oh, I see, that is a challenge, yes.”
“With you and the prince, your choice is easy,” I said softly. “Either you’re with him or you’re not. I want to be with each of these three men in different ways. I want to have Daz take care of me, and be soft and intimate with Leo, and fuck the brains out of Kel.”
“My situation with Prince Victor is not so easy. I am, to a degree, at his whim. If I deny him…”
I could see how that would be hard. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say…” I wasn’t sure what I’d meant.
“It is of no consequence, Tisi. I am happy with the prince and if he tires of me, I shall be happy with that, but that is not my choice. You at least have a choice. Perhaps you could… exploreallavenues open to you?”
“I could?” That didn’t seem right. “Don’t I have to choose?”
Veora shrugged. “Not if you’re open with all of them.” She smiled broadly. “Tell them you wish to court them, but that you are not being exclusive. Make it clear others will be courting you. It may give one or more of them greater incentive to beallofwho you want them to be. And at the same time, you can explore elements of what it’s like being with them. Have Kel cook for you. See what sex with Daz is like. As long as you do it with no expectations afterwards, then they can’t be too upset if you choose another.”
“Oh…” That did sound… curious and appealing. A shiver ran down my spine. What would it be like to have three men pursuing me… actively? “Oh!”
“Oh indeed.” Veora laughed.
“What would I say to them, exactly?”
Veora counselled me on the right words. She was very good with making things seem reasonable.
“Tell them you wish to explore a relationship with them, but that they will not be the only ones. If they balk at this, tell them it is their choice. If they back out now, it will make your choice easier in the end. And if each man knows there are others wooing you, I suspect they will try even harder to win you, and they can’t be too upset if another man does more than they do. Be honest, be open, lay it out. Tell them what you wish to try with them and that you will have the final say. Make it clear that if they wish to be with you, this is the only way.”
I nodded. That made a lot of sense. I hoped I could remember that.
But… “I don’t even know if Kel wants to be with me. We left things a bit… confused and uncertain last night. I did… run out on him.”
“And if he loves you then he’ll seek you out, or patiently wait for you to return to him.”
Yeah, that made sense.
Suddenly I wanted to go talk to Kel right away. Unfortunately, Veora and I were still ten minutes out from the palace and I’d have to wait for her there. I’d go to him this afternoon… No, I had training with Leo this afternoon. And I’dprobably see Daz first. I’d talk to Daz, then Leo, then go to see Kel. Yes, that would work.
Gods, suddenly I was more nervous than I’d been for any battle.
Who was I to do this, courtingthreemen at once? I was a warrior-woman, not a flirting courtier. Yet my heart raced like it did in the heat of combat. I was going to have three men court me and… I could choose who I wanted.
