Yeah!
Thatwas how this was supposed to go, none of this“You’re the one who shacked up with Tomas”shit.
“I’m sorry, Tisi,” he said softly, slowly, swallowing hard. “I… I didn’t know. I thought everything was good once the war was over. I…didwant to be with you.” He turned away, ashamed.
Gods-damned right! He should be!
“You want to know where I went?” he asked, voice low.
“Yes!” I bit out, harsh and furious.
He whispered, “I went to ask your father for your hand in marriage before he died.”
I staggered back, as if I’d been gut-punched, followed by an upper-cut to my jaw. I reached out for the wall, but it was too far away and I fell, collapsing.
No…
Five days… Two days hard ride from Vestrea to Pearlia, one day here, then two days back.
No…
Kel turned back slowly. He continued in that soft voice.
“And I got back just in time to find you… in that tavern outside the city… with Tomas. I returned with your father’s blessing and found you…”
Oh… gods… no!
My mind whirled.
But confusion sparked my anger again. I surged to my feet.
“Why?” I shouted at him, voice hoarse and cracking. “Why didn’t yousaysomething? Why didn’t you tell me what you were doing, how long you’d be gone? I could have waited if I’d known… But instead. As far as I knew, you left and never came back! You abandoned me!”
His jaw tightened and he let out a harsh laugh, though it sounded a bit self-deprecating.
“We both failed each other, it seems.”
He fell back into his chair, heavy and tired. “All I had to do was tell you where I was going, and all you had to do was wait just a little longer. By Aestric and Assa! By all the gods we were so close and we… gods, we fucked it up royally.”
The fight left me as quickly as it had returned. I swallowed hard.
“So… you saw my father… before he died?” He’d been gone by the time I’d gotten back to Pearlia.
Kel nodded.
“He was weak, so far gone, it was… it wasn’t easy to see him like that.” Oddly, a flicker of a smile caught his lips. “But even through all that. When I asked him for your hand, he smiled and sat up and took my hand as if he was ten years younger and not on his deathbed.”
Kel’s gaze was distant, remembering. “He nodded and said it had always been his hope that you and I would unite. He gave his blessing and smiled and…” He sighed heavily. “I don’t know for certain, but… he seemed so at peace after that. I think it allowed him to let go and find the peace in Assa’s Arms he’d been seeking for years.”
I turned away to hide the new tears in my eyes.
One of the horrible parts of the waning sickness was how slowly it ate away at a person. My father had only begun suffering from it when the war had started six years ago, and it had taken him two full years to die…
…While I’d been away, fighting the war.
I’d not been there for him. It still ate at me after all this time. But Kel had seen my father and… and brought him some peace, which it seemed had allowed him to let go and pass on… but that also meant…
“You… if you had waited.” I choked back sobs at the pain searing my heart. “If you had stayed with me and we’d returned together… perhaps I’d have been able to see my father one last time.”
