I was fed and tended to, but otherwise dead to the world. Alvere and Sparrow visited me, tried to help with words of encouragement, but I didn’t hear them. Even Silence came after a while.
I didn’t know how long it was later, when Lady Crane came and sat on the edge of my bed.
“You’ve been sulking long enough,” she said sternly, though with a motherly care and concern in her voice. “It is time to get up and rejoin the world. You have duties to attend to.”
When I didn’t respond, she went on. “The House has met. We talked and decided a few things. Firstly, you should know we’ve accepted Dove as a member of our House.”
Great, another loved one I had endangered and who would probably die because of me. I remained stoic, unmoved and unmoving.
“Second… we needed a new head of our House and we’ve chosen one.”
I felt the faintest sliver of curiosity, the only emotion I’d felt in a long time. Still, I lay there, eyes unmoving from staring at the canvas above me.
“We discussed it for a long time. Neither Midnight nor myself wanted it when…” She sighed heavily. “…when Maverick was chosen, and we still don’t.”
That man’s name was like a knife into my heart and I winced.
“Fin is the next most senior member, but he doesn’t want the position. He likes being off on his own. He knows he’s not a leader. Next would have been Ant.” I caught the twitch in her jaw. “He has a good tactical mind, but not a strategic one. He has trouble seeing the big picture sometimes. And… he… well…” Another sigh. She moved on without finishing her thought. “Foggy’s too erratic. Princess too sedate. Dove is too new. Sparrow… well, she agreed with the rest of us on who our leader should be.”
I knew what was coming now and felt a sour sneer creep onto my face.
“We chose you, Legs.”
I couldn’t help myself I let out a bitter, harsh laugh. A single “Ha!”
Crane sighed. She let me have my moment of incredulity before she went on. “I don’t know how you did it in such a short time, but somehow you’ve become more to the rest of us than just a Housemate.” She reached out a hand to my shoulder. “Legs, you’ve become the heart of this House, and now we want you to be its head as well.”
Those words, echoing what Lady Claw had said after ripping out Maverick’s throat caused such a spike of pain and fury into my heart that I did sit up then. I felt an indignant rage flare to life within me.
“You’re all bleeding mad!” I yelled at Crane, and she flinched back at the vehemence of my vicious words.
At that, the flap to my room was pushed aside and Silence and Sparrow entered. Wordlessly they came to me sitting to either side of me, hugging me without shame or pity, just the purity of their love. Behind them the rest of the House filed into the small room. Next was Dove, beautiful and resplendent in white, as usual. She sat on the bed close to me. Then Fin, still in bandages and looking like he could barely walk. Ant, looking like he’d lost some of his massive muscle, drawn and fatigued. I wondered how much he’d been helping with the healing. Midnight, grim but stalwart and sure, green eyes blazing with intensity, drilling deep into my soul and shining a light in the darkness there. Foggy, drawn and sad — he’d lost his brother and they’d been so very close — but with a determined quirk of a smile on his face. Princess, with the ferocity of a hunting cat in her golden eyes.
Then, behind them all, peering in without entering… was Alvere. He wasn’t a part of the House, but I saw the immensity of his love for me in those brilliant blue eyes. He smiled and nodded as my family of Housemates drew close around me.
“I believe in you,” Crane said with certainty in her voice.
“I believe in you.” The words were echoed by the others:
Ant’s deep baritone…
Foggy’s high tenor…
Princess’ soft silken tones…
Fin’s full base…
Midnight whispered the words, but her tone was sure. “We believe in you.”
Dove smiled. “I’ve always believed in you and known you’d do great things.”
Sparrow kissed my left cheek and breathed close to my ear. “I love you, and I believe in you.”
Silence kissed my right cheek and whispered, “I need you, Legs. I believe in you and need you to believe in yourself.”
I believe in you, Auwei said firmly within me.
And the outpouring of love and esteem from my family finally broke the armored dam I’d built around my soul. All the emotions I’d been repressing came flowing out. I let myself feel the fullness of the grief for those lost, as well as my love for Silence, Sparrow, Alvere, and my family. I was overwhelmed with loss and sorrow, but at the same time filled with the stunned joy of simply being alive and having so many of those I love still alive and with me. I broke down and wept for a long time as my family drew closer around me, hands outstretched to touch me if they couldn’t get close enough to hold me.
