I smiled and nodded. “Clear.”
We were then herded into the great hall for the evening meal, though I was escorted by Lady Kitsune herself to get me a new dress and change. The largest of the pre-defined sets was just a little loose on me, though with the way the buttons could be used to help them conform to a woman’s figure I made it work well. This one came to above-the-ankles on me and I was… thankful for that. If nothing else, it would be warmer.
I got to eat only a little, having taken time away from the meal to change, but it was enough.
Then we were told to retire to our rooms for the evening in contemplation with our Lumani.
My contemplation didn’t last long.
There came a soft knock on my window. I rose from my bed where I’d just started a conversation with Auwei and opened the heavy curtains.
Outside was Oak. He smiled and winked.
Curious, I opened the window, latching it up and leaning out on the sill to speak to him. “Yes?”
“Hey Legs, wanna go for a walk?” Oama bobbed excitedly next to him.
“Legs?”
“Yeah, most of the boys have taken to calling you that.” He shrugged. “You can take it however you want, but from me, it’s a compliment. You have… very beautiful legs… as well as everything else, that is.”
Oh, he was a charmer. His blue eyes were glinting in the fading light of day.
And he was handsome enough, his clothes falling perfectly from his broad shoulders. Those blue eyes sparkling, reflecting the lamp-light from my room.
“How did you know this was my room?” I asked.
He laughed. “I had to knock on a few other windows first, but eventually one of the others pointed me to the right one and here I am.” He gave me the full force of his charming smile. “Might we go for… a walk?” He asked with courtly manners. His voice grew hushed. “Or I could come in.”
Something about him didn’t sit right with me and I didn’t want to give the impression I was interested. Sure, he was nice to look at, but… not really my type. Yet, after my stunt with the dress, I’d probably need to do a bit of image-mending.
“Not tonight, Oak,” I said. I didn’t want to cut him off entirely though, just let him know I had standards. A walk with a handsome young man wouldn’t be so bad, though I probably wouldn’t want anything more with him. So, I quickly added: “Once you and Oama have come up with an avatar,maybeI’ll consider it then.” I hoped he heard the emphasis on the “maybe.”
He nodded. “Of course. I’d expect nothing less than to be a match for you before we might… go walking.” He drew himself up to his full height and gave a single nod. “I’ll return in a few days. I’m sure we’ll have found our avatar by then.” He turned and left.
I shook my head. He was handsome enough and confident, but… not my type. I liked my men just a bit less forward. Oak was too eager and almost arrogant in his approach. I’d always been a strong girl, now a strong woman, and I liked a man who let me know he was available, but let me do the pursuing.
Interesting.Auwei said, scurrying along the wall to the windowsill.A rare man indeed, but I sense you’ve found such a man at least once, yes?
“Yes,” I confided. “There was a boy in Miraline, Kelen, who I grew up with. We were friends as children, then as we’d grown older, we became… more.”
Those memories returned like a flood. We’d escape for afternoons and take long walks in the fields around the town. We would talk mostly, then, as our bodies had matured, we’d… explored each other, delving fully into all the raging emotions of youth. Through trial and error and many messy encounters, we’d taught each other about sex, until he’d been everything I’d wanted and needed. He’d been the first — and so far, the only — boy to say he loved me.
But… then had come our first year of Choosing. We had thought to be Chosen together that day, but… only he had been Chosen. When he’d left, he’d kissed me passionately and said he’d write, or return for me.
But I had received only one letter from him months later. His name was now Lynx. He’d joined the Panther House of Nobles. He could not return for me, he was too busy with his new duties, but he wished me happiness and hoped I might join him one day.
The Panthers rarely take non-cat avatars, Birch, Auwei advised with a note of care in her voice.
I nodded. I was a spider and unlikely to rejoin my first love. I smiled sadly. “I know.” I hadn’t expected to be reunited with Lynx, at least not in his Noble House. The truth was, after he’d left, my feelings for him had cooled. He’d been kind and giving, but we’d both been a bit too hot-blooded and young. I was tempered now. Perhaps, if we met again, the spark would reignite, or perhaps not.
I hope you do find a man who is everything you wish,Auwei said.Or a woman. Or several men, or some mixed group. I’m open to anything.I was a bit shocked by this. Despite group relationships being a known thing in Miraline, they weren’t common.
“Have you…?” I asked tentatively, not really knowing what I was asking.
Later,Auwei whispered and I felt a bit of hesitation from her.
I nodded.
