She doesn’t say a word. She latches onto my hoodie and knots the fabric in her fists. She’s been doing this over the last couple of weeks.
“We can’t ever let River know this pain. We just can’t.”
“We’ve got the city now. The risk, it’s not as high anymore. We’ll be fine. River will be okay.”
She rolls her eyes. “Effie’s not dead yet. Every minute she’s still alive is a minute she could get away.”
Running the back of my knuckles across her cheek, I smirk. “She ain’t goin’ anywhere, babe. Even if she could move, she’s trapped.”
With Pope and Ricky’s deaths, it’s given Effie longer on this earth. I accepted the longer I take my time with her, the better her end will be. She can rot away, facing the same four walls, with no one for company for months or years, for all I care. It’s torture without having to lay a finger on her. She’ll eventually die, but I no longer feel the urgency to end her. I haven’t been to see her since the night she was brought here. The prospect is the only one who’s been in and out of her room, taking her scraps of food and enough water to stay hydrated.
“I don’t like her here. It’s our home…”
“Babe, forget she’s here. She won’t touch you. She’s nothing.”
“I’m not worried about that. She’s a loose end and she killed our friend. I don’t understand why you’re keeping her around.”
The brothers don’t understand why either.
“I’ve got half the brothers not wanting to hurt her cause she’s a woman. If I had my way, I’d treat her as if she were a guy. But I’m the president, I have to keep the balance between loyalty and fear on point. If I did to her what I truly want to do, I’d lose that loyalty. I know I would over time. My dad always made it clear that a decision like this has to be made unanimously. For once inmy life, apart from you and our son, I’m happy doing what I’m doing. Being in the city feels right. The brothers are right for me. It’s not just me, I have to take on their input… every now and then.”
She smiles but it disappears fast. “I trust you, you know I do. I just don’t want blood spilled in our home.”
Before her father and grandfather died, I was going to approach the subject of us maybe finding a home away from the clubhouse. I put it off for a couple of reasons. First being, I can only relax knowing Tor is under the same roof as me at all times. And secondly, I wasn’t sure if it would be something she’d want for us.
It's what you do, though, get married, have a kid, buy a house. Neither of us have ever been ones to follow the norm, but the idea kept popping up.
It’s now or never.
“Do you wanna get our own place, away from here? We have enough cash to put down a heavy deposit. You could start looking, it’d give you something to do.”
She sits up, frowning down at me.
“Is that what you want for us?” she asks.
My answer doesn’t come fast enough for her. She shuffles herself to the end of the bed and climbs off. Pacing the length of our room, she looks to me, opens her mouth to say something then chooses different. I watch her pace, enjoying that her fire is returning. I sit up and glance down to see River still sleeping soundly.
“It was just an idea I’ve been mulling over,” I tell her.
“For how long?”
“Since River was born. It’s something we’d have to eventually think about. Are we gonna let him grow up in a clubhouse his entire childhood. It’s quiet around here at the moment, but youknow the shit that goes down in a place like this. I can’t force the guys to act like angels cause our kid might walk in on them.”
“We grew up in the club. We’re fine,” she argues, keeping her voice down.
“And our son would be too, I’m just saying that it’d be something we’d have to live with if we came to regret it.”
She stops pacing and glares at me. It doesn’t have the desired effect and hits me in the balls. She got the all-clear from the doctor last week, yet we still haven’t been together. It’s killing me but I’m waiting for her to come to me so I know she’s fully ready. What she went through giving birth to our son, there’s not one part of me that would ever put pressure on her.
Her chest deflates with a long sigh. “I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t crossed my mind once or twice. But it doesn’t feel right. We both want the best for River, and I think us being with you here is what’s best. I don’t want to be away from you, and I don’t want River not seeing you as much ‘cause we live across town.”
A slow smile creeps along my mouth. I slide off the bed and stand before her.
“I don’t want that either.”
She slaps my chest. “Why the fuck would you bring it up then?”
Instead of answering, I press my lips to hers and trap the useless fight in a kiss. Holding the back of her neck, I keep her locked against me as I walk her backwards. Trapping her between me and the wall, she winds one leg around my waist and as I’m about to grab her other leg, there’s a knock at the door.
