I took extra care getting ready, carefully styling my hair, applying a little more make-up than I usually wore for work (making sure it didn’t look overdone) and picking out a floral blue top I’d made which always drew compliments. Checking my appearance in a full-length mirror, I sighed.
‘It’s pathetic, isn’t it, Cliff?’ I said, rolling my eyes at Cliff’s holiday photo. ‘How old am I? I’m acting like a lovesick teenager. Worse! I don’t imagine Saffy is mooning over Felix like this.’ I glanced back at my reflection and considered removing my make-up. ‘Is it too much?’
‘Pretty Vonnie!’ Trevor declared.
‘What?’
‘Pretty Vonnie! Pretty Trevor!’
Tears pricked my eyes and I blinked them away before I really did have to remove my make-up and start over. A feeling of calm flowed through me and I smiled at Cliff’s picture. ‘Thank you.’
My journal was on the small dining table and I opened it to the first section.
What 3 things will you STOP doing this year?
Feeling sorry for myself
Blaming the past and hiding myself away
Chasing a relationship with Marianne
We were four months into the year and the new life I’d created by throwing myself into my friendships through Cake & Craft Club, sharing my full story with Paulette and Milly, setting up Created With Love and selling the house had placed enormous ticks against the first two entries in theSTOPsection and I was so proud of myself for that. If Will didn’t collect the bears or if he didn’t make contact, I wasn’t going to regress. I wasn’t going to start feeling sorry for myself and I certainly wasn’t going to live in the past and forever regret the decision to rush back to Cliff. Cliff and I had had a good marriage and I didn’t regret the fifteen years we’d shared after I met Will. To say I did would be disrespectful to Cliff’s memory. The past had happened and couldn’t be changed but the future was mine for the taking and if that didn’t include Will, it didn’t include Will.
* * *
The shop was opening at ten o’clock and I decided to call Fen just before. My hands shook as I connected to her number.
‘Hi, Fen, it’s Yvonne from Created With Love in Willowdale. Just a quick call to let you know your bears are ready.’
‘Fabulous! I can’t wait to see them.’
‘I’m really pleased with how they’ve turned out. I hope you will be too.’
‘If they’re anything like the one you were making when I bought the quilt, I’ll be thrilled.’
‘When would be best for you to collect them?’ I asked. ‘We’re open today if that’s convenient.’
‘Possibly. I’m coming through to see my mum, although I might ask my brother to drop by instead.’
My heart leapt and I fought hard to keep my voice steady. ‘Well, the bears are here for either of you whenever you’re ready.’
When the call ended, I unlocked the front door and turned the sign round to open. There was a customer waiting already to collect a carved fox which she said Christian had put aside for her yesterday. He’d left me a note telling me where he’d stored it and that it was paid for so that was an easy transaction.
Across the morning, there was a steady flow of customers. Every time the door opened, my heart leapt into my mouth, but it wasn’t Will or Fen. Milly arrived to relieve me at 1p.m. and the bears still hadn’t been collected. I wasn’t in a rush to have my lunch and it was quite busy in the shop so I stayed downstairs in case Milly needed another pair of hands.
It was late afternoon when Fen arrived and I gave her a big smile, hoping it would mask my disappointment at her appearing instead of Will. While Milly was unfurling various bunting designs for another customer, I spread the six memory bears across the counter.
‘Oh, my word!’ Fen exclaimed. ‘They’re gorgeous.’ She picked one up and twisted it in her hands, examining it from all angles. ‘I knew they’d be good but, wow!’
‘Every bear has the exact same pieces of fabric but, as you can see, they’re all in different places so each one’s unique. The favourite shirt appears on every bear’s tummy so it has a prominent place.’
I picked up one of the other bears and pointed out the pocket I’d created on its chest. Fen was still holding the first bear so I told her to put her fingers in its pocket and lift out the contents.
‘A heart! Oh, Yvonne!’
I’d made a small heart for each bear using the fabric from the favourite shirt and attached it inside the pocket with a satin ribbon so that it wouldn’t get lost.
‘The idea came to me when I was making yours so I added one to my own bear too. I thought it was a nice touch.’
